A NOAH TALL STORY

Well, it’s Easter Weekend, so should I give a historical conversation from the Easter scene, or should we have a look at Moses rather, in the Passover? Nope, in view of the weather I think I’ll record a conversation from further back:

Mrs N – Look at all the rain, dear!

N – We could only take two of them.

Mrs N – No, I mean it’s pouring down in buckets!

N – We’d look pretty darned silly if it didn’t, wouldn’t we?

Mrs N – Hey, the dinosaurs are both males!

N – Oops.

Mrs N – How come we get to have four pairs of humans?

N – We’re management.

Mrs N – Did you remember the special mastodon diet? They’re picky eaters.

N – Oops.

Mrs N – So, the highest mountains will be covered?

N – Right.

Mrs N – How many cubits above sea level will that be?

N – It’ll be below sea level by that time, stupid.

Mrs N – Well, the highest mountain on earth is said to be 17 163.5 cubits. If you cruise at that altitude, you’ll need very warm clothing and probably some spare oxygen.

N – Nonsense. We float, so we’ll stay at sea level. So the climate will remain the same.

Mrs N – But all the mountains are going to be covered by fifteen cubits?

N – Right.

Mrs N – Won’t that take much more water than you find in all the oceans put together?

N – I suppose it must.

Mrs N – So where does it come from? And where will it dry out to?

N – Oh, for heavens sake, woman! Use your head! It will come out of clouds, and someone will pull a plug or something for it to drain.

Mrs N – Into the earth?

N – No, onto the moon! What do you think?

Mrs N – Won’t that put the fires out deep underground?

N – That would be a good thing. These volcanoes cause a lot of trouble in some parts.

Mrs N – Did you put in some cots and toys and things?

N – What for?

Mrs N – If we’re going to be stuck on this thing for a cruise of a year or so, and it’s going to rain nonstop for forty days making sun tanning on the deck not an option, what are the humans likely to do for amusement?

N – Oh, go and pump out the bilges!

Mrs N – We aren’t quite afloat yet, so what could be leaking?

N – A couple of useless dinosaurs, amongst hundreds of other things.

Mrs N – Go and clean them out yourself. I’m not losing any sleep over this, even if you are.

(Dedicated to Arkenaton, – Ark – in whose style it is written.)

Have a happy weekend!

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