The Really Awful Ruby Hat of Oh My … Goodness.


For the NaPoWriMo prompt today I have based my rhyme on this stanza of
Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam:

Come, fill the Cup, and in the fire of Spring
 Your Winter-garment of Repentance fling:
 The Bird of Time has but a little way
To flutter — and the Bird is on the Wing.

After I had written it, I was called away, and when I returned to the computer there it was … gone!  No save, no search in deleted items or files would show it, and so I gave up and re-wrote it as follows:

SUBSTITUTE POEM

Go, fill the Glass, and in the chill of Fall,
 Your Summer garments shed, and have a Ball,
 My goodness is so great that it is apt
 To dazzle – and can drive you up the wall. 

For you must drink and think of just how good
 I am, as properly I’m sure you should,
 (And I’m so glad that I don’t need to find
 That rhyme-word – third line – don’t think that I could.) 

Though you may think I’m wearing a red hat,
 This habit is not one that I am at,
 Perhaps I should, though, so that it can go
  With goodness  – as I say, I’m good at that.

Pablo Picasso - Seated Woman with a Red Hat

Pablo Picasso – Seated Woman with a Red Hat

My goodness gracious, I can clearly show
 There’s value found within a red chapeau,
 One scribbled by Picasso came to be
  Worth plenty –  why, I simply do not know.

As I finished it, I thunk to myself: what if I had deleted the first one by accident-like?  So I tried clicking  ‘undo’ until I went cross-eyed.  Sure enough, when my new version finally vanished, I found an ‘Undo cut’ which restored the first one.  Why didn’t I think of doing that before?

In cases like this one is always convinced that the lost one was the masterpiece, and the replacement a feeble shadow.  Now, that can be tested.  Which version do you think is best?

ORIGINAL

Come, fill the Glass, and in the chill of Fall,
 Leave Summertime, and let us have a Ball,
  This has, one sees, a Ring undoubtedly
  Familiar:  Oh, Hello there? Did you Call? 

Red bonnets are the thing of Riding Hood,
 Which Fairytales suggest, as well they should;
 (I’m glad this line does not have any need
 Of rhyming – do one there would not be good.) 

But then, some Goodness one will need to Bring
Into the Poem, of which we can Sing:
That I am Good is to be taken as
A Given – for I Give like anything!

Pablo Picasso - Seated Woman with a Red Hat

Pablo Picasso – Seated Woman with a Red Hat

 So, do I tend to wear a Bonnet, Red?
  I fear that truthfully such can’t be said,
  But Chapeau Rouge can reach the Highest Heights
  In Value – that is really Go-ahead!

© Colonialist April 2014 (WordPress)
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About colonialist

Active septic geranium who plays with words writing fantasy novels, with notes writing classical music, and with riding cycles, horses and dinghies.
This entry was posted in Challenge, Poems, Really Awful Rhyme, Writing and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

19 Responses to The Really Awful Ruby Hat of Oh My … Goodness.

  1. I prefer the second version. Some “mistakes” are simply meant to be! :)

    Like

  2. ‘Chapeau Rouge’ sounds like a really good red wine, Col. I cannot at all imagine you in a red hat, and your really awful rhyme has me quite mind-boggled. :)

    Like

  3. The Asian says:

    I don’t mind if you want to wear a red bonnet but I will stop following your blog if you told me that you wear a red beret!

    Like

  4. Grannymar says:

    A a red chapeau, certainly a red letter day for me!

    Like

  5. Clever, as usual. :)

    Like

  6. Anthony says:

    I would have gone for a red light as a touchy subject. But red hats?

    Like

  7. granny1947 says:

    Red hats are a touchy subject right now!!!

    Like

  8. nrhatch says:

    My favorite stanza:

    My goodness gracious, I can clearly show
    There’s value found within a red chapeau,
    One scribbled by Picasso came to be
    Worth plenty – why, I simply do not know.

    Like

  9. I love how you matched the font to the color scheme. :)

    Like

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