I wish that I could levitate
To any other place or state
And shop at somewhere other than the mall
From Cheddar Gorge I’d get my cheese
In China I would serve my teas
And get my nak* milk freshly from Nepal


Of course my levitating skill
Might mean I’d sometimes miss the till
In Brussels Belgium shopping for their sprouts
Australia for lamb stew too
And steaks a few of kangaroo
Black Forest cakes as well I have no doubts


My beetles cockroaches and things
And scorpions with nasty stings
I’d purchase quite directly from Japan
Their sushi though fills me with dread
I’d get some Dover sole instead
And buy my long pork** from the Isle of Man


My codfish from Cape Cod I’d get
For chillies Chile is my bet
For celery I wouldn’t try Dubai
In Scotland wouldn’t it be fun
To go to Scone and ask for bun
Or seafood from the Isle of Skye


For maple syrup, Montreal
Would not a bad choice be at all
In Devonshire some cider and some cream
From France I would collect champagne
My snails and frogs’ legs there again
In Bombay*** curry f(l)avour is my dream


In Munchen I’d munch Bratwurst that’s
Been made from very worst of brats
In Switzerland I’d grab a load of chox
Vienna I’d have sausages
From reject choirboy tossages
Gibraltar would give rock-cakes full of rocks


My pasta I would get from Rome
But some things I would buy at home
For all in all it is a better course
To get my biltong locally
And w(h)ines from locals vocally
And buy right here supplies of boerewors


If you could simply travel thus
Without expense or any fuss
Then I would like you foodies to declare
The grub you would dash off to buy
What would your first choice be and why
In other words what food got how from where


*Did you know that you can’t get yak milk? To a Sherpa, the female of the species is a nak.
**The cannibal’s delight.
***Nuts to the Mumbai nonsense. It is nearly as silly as Tshwane or Ethekwini.

 © Colonialist February 2011 (Letterdash/Wordpress)


About colonialist

Active septic geranium who plays with words writing fantasy novels and professionally editing, with notes writing classical music, and with riding a mountain bike, horses and dinghies. Recently Indie Publishing has been added to this list.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.


  1. granny1947 says:

    I don’t know how you do it Col….your granddaughter is going to grow up with a delightful sense of the ridiculous!


  2. From where would you source spotted dick?


  3. Fantastic, Colonialist: and prolific!


  4. adeeyoyo says:

    Brilliant – you have an imagination without borders!


You have the right to remain silent - but please don't!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s