REALLY AWFUL CHRISTMAS GIFTS


Internet woes continue.  I had no line for all of yesterday.  Today, dogged persistence enabled me to get through to Telkom who brilliantly diagnosed an ‘intermittent fault’ and said they would check it out.  Strangely, on both occasions I have got through to them the line has returned before I had even outlined the problem …

As usual, we got rather ridiculous this year when it came to gifts. The tree, with gifts for seven adults and two kids, was swamped. Young R had some stocking-fillers to start with, but traditionally our big handout comes after Christmas dinner, which featured some very fancy starters followed by the traditional stuffed turkey, ham, and a large assortment of veg. A lethal fruit cocktail concocktailed by Younger Daughter was followed by champagne and wine.

 

During these proceedings, I handed out my Christmas gifts, which consisted of decorated verses as appear hereunder. I was particularly proud of the first one: 

CHRISTMAS GIFT for Much Better Half

 

My special thought for you I’ll bring alive:
That thought is going, ‘One, two, three, four, five!’
And thus, the perfect gift to you from me –
It is The Thought That Counts, as you can see!

 

CHRISTMAS GIFT for Son-in-Law

 

A jolly Christmas, and a great New Year,
I thought of giving you a ton of beer;
But that would really not be good for you,
So, thus it is, the thought will have to do.

 

CHRISTMAS GIFT for Friend

 

Merry Christmas; of New Year the best;
Lest it give you cardiac arrest
No expensive gift I’ve bought that’s nice –
My kind thoughts must therefore needs suffice!

 

CHRISTMAS GIFT for Younger Daughter

 

Christmas Greetings, and for the New Year, too,
All come herewith, especially for you;
I thought of buying you a diamond ring –
So cherish that small thought like anything!

 

CHRISTMAS GIFT   for Sister-in-Law

 

A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS,
And as for the NEW YEAR,
I trust that your whole one will pass
All filled with BEST of CHEER,
I thought of giving you a gift
But what could better be,
To give your spirits SUCH a lift,
Than just my company.

 

CHRISTMAS GIFT for Brother-in-Law

 

The Season’s Greetings unto you;
I thought a gift of Merc would do;
But as my ticket hasn’t won,
The thought is all wot will get done.

(Yes, I did buy some actual presents which were handed out later. I also contributed cigars.)

Earlier, R and I swam, I took the dogs to the beach and found a cowrie, I managed to mow a lawn before the guests arrived, and then it was party-party!

 

New shoes – tara!

  © Colonialist December 2011 (Letterdash/WordPress)

About colonialist

Active septic geranium who plays with words writing fantasy novels and professionally editing, with notes writing classical music, and with riding a mountain bike, horses and dinghies. Recently Indie Publishing has been added to this list.
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6 Responses to REALLY AWFUL CHRISTMAS GIFTS

  1. Cindy says:

    Love those shoes, Twinkle Toes 🙂

    Like

  2. Tilly Bud says:

    Thoughtful gifts 🙂

    Like

  3. Nicola says:

    The verses are brilliant !

    Like

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