Children at the Little Sweethearts Nursery School staged demonstrations today during which they burnt school emblems and destroyed stuff.  They also threatened the staff. 

  Their protest was apparently sparked off by the showing of a movie which suggested that fairies are not real and that some are based on noxious insects.  A spokesman said, ‘Gowawa blop; wanna mommy, wah-h-h!’ …

  (We apologise for inserting the wrong clip. Correction:) …

A spokesman said, ‘We know fairies are really real for real.  Anyone who says they are not real is a poo-poo!’

  School staff declined to comment at first, but were heard to remark that if they were still in the good old days the demonstrators would have been well-spanked and sent to bed without any supper.

  A later official announcement said, however, that they didn’t think people should say that fairies aren’t real, even if they aren’t.



  Meanwhile, in South Africa, scientific findings support that long periods underground undermine, appropriately, intelligence to moronic levels.  The victims of the syndrome are enabled to believe the most absurd claims.  This fact has been realised, ahead of the scientific community, by a group of self-seeking agitators who are successfully persuading the workers to run real risks of having no jobs whatsoever. 

  Sources inside this group have revealed that the next stage will be demands for each miner to receive a basic equivalent of the SA President’s take-home pay.  (Not counting ‘perks’, hareem etc.)

  On the positive side, it is rumoured that ‘Strictly Come Dancing’ is considering making the miners an offer to perform in a new series of the show, which will feature groups. 



  Shell and the SA Government must be competing for the record of the stupidest groups of all time for considering, for a nanosecond, that fracking for minerals should take place in an area as ecologically sensitive as the Karoo.   

  A basic aspect of fracking is that it uses water.  Lots and lots of the stuff.  Even if it doesn’t pollute it (which it generally does) it displaces it. 

  Right.  Surprise, surprise.  The Karoo is known as a pretty dry area, right?  No brainpower or scientific knowledge is needed to tell where that takes us.

  Both groups are, in fact, relying on a majority of wekkers-on-the-ground deciding that they want work and money today, and too bad if no pieces are left for the kids or grandkids to pick up tomorrow. 

 © Colonialist September 2012 (WordPress)


About colonialist

Active septic geranium who plays with words writing fantasy novels and professionally editing, with notes writing classical music, and with riding a mountain bike, horses and dinghies. Recently Indie Publishing has been added to this list.
This entry was posted in Satire, Writing and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.


  1. Marco says:

    hee hee, needed that laugh, thanks Col 🙂


  2. Brilliant post, Col!! This is a far better way to read abouth the latest happenings than seeing it on the news or reading it in the newspapers!!


  3. Little Sweethearts Indeed!
    I’m currently thinking of becoming a miner – good earning opportunities.
    Fracking – I’ll never get our gov or oil companies. What are they thinking???? In one of the world’s poorest water countries and in the Karoo no less!
    Great news report – at least you managed to make me smile through the chaos.


  4. Tokeloshe says:

    Well done!

    You should start a weekly column 😉


  5. adinparadise says:

    Excellent news report, Col. I read it to C whilst we were waiting for our breakfast at FEGO’s in Gateway. We both thought it was a brilliant take on what’s going on here. As for the fairies; they’re all around us. 🙂


  6. 68ghia says:

    Very well spotted Col.
    This whole sordid situation we’re in here in SA just makes me want to run away.
    And then I realise, as long as men want money, Planet Earth is on her own…


  7. The Asian says:

    You should become a news editor! 🙂


  8. arkenaten says:

    If money is the only thing, then lets play by their rules. Don’t buy Shell.
    If a million folk refuse to stop at their service stations it must have an impact, surely?
    Good post.


  9. optie says:

    A good take on current affairs Col! Is there a union for underpaid previously advantaged paleskins to join? I think i’t time we had a voice.


  10. nrhatch says:

    Well done, Col! I liked the rampaging tots story the best because I believe in fairies too.
    Shell Oil, in contrast, is just a big poo poo! . . . BP too! They belong in the loo!


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