REALLY AWFUL RAMBLINGS


DAMP AWFUL

Tomorrow the fambly are having another try at getting to the spot they didn’t get to over the last long weekend due to rain, snow, sleet, and lots of squidgy mud.  More bad weather is in the offing.  I have urged them to recite:

 Precipitation, precipitation,

Kindly depart;

Reschedule, and choose a non-vacation

For your restart.

Absurdly, they prefer the ‘Rain, rain, go away, Come again another day,’ version.

 

AWFULLY DRY HUMOUR:

(I have thought all of these up personally, which isn’t to say some or all haven’t been thought up by somone else first.) 

What sea surrounds most of South Africa?  Idio-sea.  

(OK, so this one’s a bit wet.)

 

What is South Africa’s national anthem?  Stupid ditty.

 

Why does South Africa’s petrol price keep rising?  Fuelishness.

 

Why can’t SA politicians take lessons? They’re more-ons.

 

What is a major problem in SA?  A miner one.

 

What is SA’s greatest liability?  The lie ability of the politicians.

 

Printers of  ‘Made in South Africa’ labels have gone out of business due to lack of demand.  The labels fell apart, anyway. 

 

And:

 

Is a salver for visiting cards a family trait?

 

Does an unsuccessful hunter learn from his missed steaks?

 

Would an American motorist in South Africa saying, ‘Fill up with gas,’ be served a double helping of baked beans?

 

If only our government departments were snail-paced.   Snails actually do get things done.

 

Mind you, the politicians are like snails.  They have got to where they’re at on layers of slime.

 

For those bloggers who have recently been boasting about their snails, look at the ones we have to contend with!

 © Colonialist September 2012 (WordPress/Blogs24)

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About colonialist

Active septic geranium who plays with words writing fantasy novels and professionally editing, with notes writing classical music, and with riding a mountain bike, horses and dinghies. Recently Indie Publishing has been added to this list.
This entry was posted in Language, Nonsense verse, Personal Journal, Photography, Poems, Really Awful Rhyme, Satire and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to REALLY AWFUL RAMBLINGS

  1. Gobetween says:

    The snail is a cutie.

    Like

  2. The Asian says:

    Lol, loved all of them!

    Like

  3. nrhatch says:

    Wonderful word play, Col. My faves:

    * What is South Africa’s national anthem? Stupid ditty.
    * Why does South Africa’s petrol price keep rising? Fuelishness.
    * What is SA’s greatest liability? The lie ability of the politicians.

    Like

  4. 68ghia says:

    That’s at least a cool snail 😉
    As for the rest – very aptly put 😉

    Like

  5. Marco says:

    That’s one nasty snail you’ve got there, lol. Like the fuelishness, hehe

    Like

  6. newsferret says:

    No good about the rain – 5am and it is pouring here!!

    Like

  7. Great engineering with words. Loved it…
    Shakti

    Like

  8. arkenaten says:

    Yes….I can see why you used the term ‘Awful spoilsport.’
    Loved the Missed Steaks. Very clever!

    Like

  9. adinparadise says:

    Brilliant ramblings, Col. “Politicians like snails”…….I love it. 🙂

    Like

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