I am always conscious of my responsibility to pass culture on to my four-year-old granddaughter R. Thus I recited to her the following oxymoron-filled rhyme, which I think I got from my parents, on the way back from school the other day:
One fine day, in the middle of the night,
Two dead men got up to fight;
One blind man to see fair play;
One dumb man to shout ‘Hooray!’
An old lame donkey came galloping by,
Gave them all a kick in the eye;
Kicked them over a ten-foot wall
Into a dry ditch, which drowned them all.
She enjoyed it, and remembered it well enough to do a fair job of repeating it to the family later. Her father disputed the accuracy of it, though, and gave another rendition along the lines of this one, which I found on the net:
One bright morning in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight.
Back-to-back they faced one another,
Drew their swords and shot each other.
One was blind and the other couldn’t see,
So they chose a dummy for a referee.
A blind man went to see fair play,
A dumb man went to shout “hooray!”
A deaf policeman heard the noise,
And came and killed those two dead boys.
A paralyzed donkey walking by,
Kicked the copper in the eye,
Sent him through a nine inch wall,
Into a dry ditch and drowned them all.
(If you don’t believe this lie is true,
Ask the blind man — he saw it too!)
There seem to be other variations on it as well. I’m wondering if everyone has come across it in one form or another, and if there are any further interesting versions?
Let me try something in this genre:
It was a fine and stormy day
When Jick and Jall went in to play,
The birds were flying through the ground,
In curving squares all round and round;
Snakes slithered high up in the sky,
Leviathan pods all fluttered by,
Which opened for a clump of whales
Descending up the keys in scales;
A mountain jumped into the sea
Because it wanted dry to be,
In hushly silence place this took –
For nobody was there to look;
And sudden showers of meteors
Were saturating skates in scores …
Nah! It is starting to make far too much sense, and wandering away from oxymorons!
© October 2012 Colonialist (WordPress/Blogs24)