REALLY AWFULLY BEST JUDGMENT FOR THE OCCASIONS


It didn’t rain today. Instead, the whole area became one dirty great waterfall. One needed an above-cloud-level snorkel to breathe.

Tomorrow will be the fifty-first anniversary of our official engagement. The bash coincided with Much Better Half’s twenty-first birthday. Today is the forty-ninth anniversary of our wedding.

Yes, a two-year engagement was a bit extended, even for that era. As I have blogged before, we had planned on going to UK for a while but resolved to get married instead. The decision saved our lives. The flight we had been booked on crashed, and there were no survivors

Anyway, MBH is as mad as a snake that she has managed to get an abscessed tooth and a nasty bout of shingles all at the same time. Some of the medication is not supposed to be accompanied by consumption of alcohol whereas such consumption is regarded by us as a vital part of such anniversaries. Fortunately, she has investigated the particular medicine concerned and has discovered that it is not a vital part of the treatment. Therefore it has been dumped, and will be replaced by an appropriate number of suitably chilled glasses of wine.

Such time as I have had towards stringing words together over the past few days had to be devoted to a slot I promised to the Garden Judges’ newsletter. However, it will also do as a Really Awful Rhyme.

SAUCE FOR GOOSE

‘Judge not, lest …’ is often stated
As a warning, dire,
For it is anticipated
Those who might aspire
To indulge in any judging
Should accept, in turn,
They should not do any grudging
If the same they earn!

When I pick out imperfections
In the gardens judged,
I forget the sad directions
Where my own is fudged!
‘There’s a weed!’ I point, condemning;
It is only one
From which my contempt is stemming –
Mine is overrun!

‘Straggly shrub could use some trimming,’
Snootily declare,
But see mine, with straggles brimming –
I’ve a jungle there!
So, if I should base points given
On my own estate,
To full marks I would be driven –
I’d exaggerate!

Though our judges, for the most part
Have some gardens fine,
I have yet to make my boast start;
Just don’t look at mine!
Hope my garden, every judgee,
Will not ever see –
They would squawk just like a budgie,
With hilarity!

© November 2012 Colonialist (WordPress/blogs24)

About colonialist

Active septic geranium who plays with words writing fantasy novels and professionally editing, with notes writing classical music, and with riding a mountain bike, horses and dinghies. Recently Indie Publishing has been added to this list.
This entry was posted in Humour, Personal Journal, Poems, Really Awful Rhyme and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

30 Responses to REALLY AWFULLY BEST JUDGMENT FOR THE OCCASIONS

  1. Tokeloshe says:

    Congratulations!

    My sympathies to Better half as I have had both.

    Like

  2. optie says:

    Congratulations to you both, what a lucky escape you had back then. Hope your wife is able to partake of the celebratory vino without contra-indications!

    Like

  3. Nicola says:

    Huge Congratulations to you both and get well soon to MBH 🙂

    Like

  4. arkenaten says:

    Johnny come lately, here…
    Many Congrats, Mister N.
    Loved the post. Yeah, just as well you didn’t take that flight, eh?

    And I suppose, except for the odd bout of turbulance now and then, the marriage has been plane (&) sailing, yes? 🙂

    All the best.

    Like

  5. Pingback: Lazy Monday «

  6. Zirkie says:

    Wow Col! Congratulations to you and MBH! I hope she will also be better soon! I think I have finely solved my problem with leaving comments! I must admit I have totally given up, hence me not visiting! I hope the rest of your family and especially the two pretty little ones are fine?

    Like

  7. Congratulations on the anniversaries Col. HOpe you have a great time and MBH feels much better before the festivities. Hugs to the girls.

    Like

  8. Congratulations on the anniversaries Col. HOpe you have a great time and MBH feels much better before the festivities. Hugs to the girls.

    Like

  9. Congrats on all those anniversaries. Lovely post and poem.

    Like

  10. Barb says:

    Oh, the journeys and adventures you’ve had. I’m so glad you’ve taken chances and shared your experiences.

    Like

  11. Congrats Col and better half,

    Like

  12. Sjoe WEE I am so happy you decided to rather stay and get married than get on that plane because you have enriched our lives so on the blogs. Congratulations it is so wonderful just so sorry much better half has come down with all sorts of nasties … (((hug 4 both of YOU)))

    Like

  13. The Asian says:

    You’ve been together basically double the time that I’ve been alive! Congrats on such an achievement, it is a very rare thing to happen nowadays

    Like

  14. Wow! I guess it wasn’t your time.

    Like

  15. Quite a way to begin a life together–avoiding death! Sobering indeed. Congratulations for a happy anniversary…and I hope MBH makes a very quick recovery. An abscessed tooth AND shingles? That’s misery! Loved the poem…a perfect title!

    Like

  16. nrhatch says:

    The decision saved our lives. The flight we had been booked on crashed, and there were no survivors.

    Wow! That is what I call a serendipitous decision . . . of the ultra positive kind. Congratulations on a lovely long life together.

    Like

  17. Happy anniversary, Col and Much Better Half. There i no more wondrous gift in life than a soul mate, I am convinced.

    And well done for not getting on that flight, even if it meant you did not come to live over here…

    Like

  18. Pussycat44 says:

    So who says there’s global warming?
    I must say I enjoyed the rain (crazy Dutch(wo)man) and it made everything feel more Christmas-is-nearly-here.
    Double Happy’s to you and MBH!

    Like

  19. Colline says:

    Congratulations to you on your anniversary. You are a rare couple indeed in this day and age to have been together for so long.

    Like

  20. footsy2 says:

    Congratulations to you both! Weather is wonky everywhere. Just been chatting to the Herr Doktors at Avostan. It is under water and very very unpleasant. To say nothing of the UK!

    Like

  21. adinparadise says:

    Love your really awful rhyme, and I know that the readers of the newsletter will find it hilarious. 😀 Congrats to you and MBH on your engagement anniversary, and Happy Birthday wishes too. Hope the chilled wine does the trick. Have a great weekend.

    Like

  22. 68ghia says:

    Oh, but I LIKE an overgrown garden!!
    Perfect place for fairies to hide in 😉
    Congrats on the Anniversaries and Happy on the Birthday 😉
    51 years – not something one sees too often these days…

    Like

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