As indicated in comments in my previous post, I have been trying to get a novel ready for the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Competition.  A vital part of this exercise is the 300-word pitch, from which all the wheat will initially be sorted from the chaff.   I spent what seemed like a few decades writing one for Baa Baa Black Belt, only to decide that perhaps it wasn’t the best choice.  There is no children’s or Middle Grade section.  It would have had to go in Fantasy or in Young Adult.   Adult fantasy addicts generally don’t take Baa seriously unless they just happen to read it,  Middle Graders love it but aren’t catered for, and most of those in the angst-ridden YA category consider it beneath them to try it.

I decided to go for another novel which has more proven appeal for Young Adults – Regina.

Meanwhile, here is the pitch I laboured on for Baa Baa Black Belt.  I just hope it isn’t the one which would have worked.


Can a pathetic lamb become hero of a classic quest-themed fantasy, fighting monsters and rescuing damsels in distress?  After rigorous training by hornless Rambeau, yes!

This gourmet parfait has layers of wordplay and situational comedy, excitement, action, mystery, twists and surprises, rhyme and music.  It focuses on enjoyment, which carries younger readers through undeterred by deeper layers of meaning and the more complex humour which entertain their elders.

The story starts at a beguilingly gentle pace while Baa gains and practices his skills, at home and after entering Fabulous Forest magic circle.  Events and encounters seem to have an “Alice in Wonderland” inconsequentiality until the adventure gathers momentum and threads start interweaving. 

In the ‘Nursery’ section of  Fabulous Forest Baa encounters Mary (combining “has lamb” with Quite Contrary, Goldilocks and Riding Hood) and gathers two companions, sardonic Wolfred wolf and lazy pony Lightning .  Others become Clarence the vegetarian ogre and Squiggle squirrel.

The arrival of ‘Dreffles’, particularly nasty mixed-up monsters, marks the start of seriously scary stuff.  Wolfred and Baa are summoned by Wizard Prang, who has an albatross alter ego, to attend a meeting of the ruling Wizards’ Circle who then send them to discover why North Forest has a magic blackout.  Attempts on their lives show that the villain must be one of the wizards.  Strange happenings involve Magic Supply Company’s generators.  Mary is damsel-napped.

  In journeys and adventures which follow they depose false King Artuv Kong Troll in favor of Hin Kong Troll and rescue hordes of damsels,  while their characters develop and mature.  Baa turns out to be a wizard and to have an alter ego, in the guise of which he finally defeats and unmasks the villain..

It transpires that the keys to everything have been Crown Princess Mary, a spring balance, and butterflies.

 © January 2013 Colonialist (WordPress) 


About colonialist

Active septic geranium who plays with words writing fantasy novels and professionally editing, with notes writing classical music, and with riding a mountain bike, horses and dinghies. Recently Indie Publishing has been added to this list.
This entry was posted in Books, Fantasy, Humour, Personal Journal, Writing and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

28 Responses to A PITCHED-OUT PITCH

  1. Arkenaten says:

    Please delete all this nonsense later…I think I have figured it out…just testing


  2. ekhatoh says:

    Apologies for doing this to your blog, I have changed the WP address in the box…let’s see.


  3. I think that’s a tremendous pitch! I think the pitch could be the most difficult part of the submission. I look forward to hearing how it all turns out and wish the best of luck! You have a wonderful talent and I’m so impressed with your dedication to writing and submitting!


  4. Lisaman says:

    It certainly would make a better movie than Shrek!! Sounds fantastic!!


  5. d1nx says:

    Knowing Baa, have to say the pitch is spot on. I’m sure the Regina one is just as good. Good luck Col… I’m sure you don’t need it! xxx


  6. optie says:

    Wow, I think your writing is superb Col and wish you lots of luck.


  7. 68ghia says:

    I would have wanted to read the book after reading a pitch like that Col.
    Actually, I want to read it now 😉
    Good luck with the competition!!


  8. arkenaten says:

    Where the hell is the submission form? Can;t flaming well find it…


  9. newsferret says:

    Good luck with the venture.


  10. adinparadise says:

    Good luck with the competition, Col. My granddaughter really enjoyed reading ‘Regina’. 🙂


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