So yet again computer fated
To make my life all complicated:
Modem lights were showing, yet,
There was just no internet;
Tried out all the usual tricks,
Nothing would the problem fix. 

Help centre phone just rang and rang,
I showed a fang and uttered, ‘Dang!’
But finally I did get through,
To hold on in the usual queue,
Until a real live human came
To ask my number and my name. 

And then, to get back on the net,
The protocol, to be reset,
Turned out to be what was required –
Though what it was that first inspired
The wretched thing itself to change
I really find most passing strange! 

And why the internet should get
Formality and etiquette –
Which is what protocol entails –
My reasoning and logic fails! 

A million emails now I’ve got,
And comments on the blog, a lot!
With all of that, I greatly fear
I won’t catch up before next year …


Oh, by the way, do be a dear
And go and vote for someone here!
My desk’s the really cluttered mess –
You may not like that one, I guess?
But, if you do, perhaps I can
Do better than an also-ran! 

R at school.

Break to fetch R – guess, is she catching or throwing the ball?

© February 2013 Colonialist (WordPress)

About colonialist

Active septic geranium who plays with words writing fantasy novels and professionally editing, with notes writing classical music, and with riding a mountain bike, horses and dinghies. Recently Indie Publishing has been added to this list.
This entry was posted in Grandchildren, Humour, Personal Journal, Poems, Really Awful Rhyme and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

54 Responses to REALLY AWFUL LINES

  1. optie says:

    Brilliant little rhyme Col, thanks for giving us something to smile about because there’s not much smiling going on when my internet goes down.


  2. You will never be an also-ran! 🙂 I love your poem, and my favorite observation is about protocol and etiquette–very clever.


  3. colonialist says:

    In fact, to those who may be wondering, the picture was taken at the instant R took quite a difficult catch. But then, there was never any secret of the fact that there was a catch in it. heeheeheeheehee


  4. 1yummymummy says:

    Catching I’d say…oh what would I do with no internet??? 😉


  5. SidevieW says:

    an explanation

    There are a limited number of ‘ IP addresses’ -sets of numbers divided into 4 portions. The design of this was done BEFORE it was realised just HOW MANY internet devices each would have. So when you connect to the internet your service provider’s smart system allocates your machine an adress from a pool, first seeing if it can give you back the address you had previously.

    but occasionally – either by mistake or because some hacker CAN do so there are 2 pc’s with the same internet IP address (IP just stands for internet protocol). This means that there is confusion created when pc’s and servers are trying to communicate. To sort this out one of the pc’s needs to say I don’t need this address any more, and ask for a fresh one to be issued. Hence the ipconfig/release and ipconfig/renew commands.

    That was all internet protocol V4’s addressing model. there was no V5 model functioning. the V6 model has a far larger and more complex method for allocatng addresses, and few companies have it working really well unless it is a ‘closed environment’.


  6. adeeyoyo says:

    I can sympathise with you, Col. I came back from my trip to find that, somehow during my absence, with no one around, my internet had stopped working. It couldn’t have happened at a worse time! Took me 3 days to fix with my brother’s help on Skype.


  7. gipsika says:

    Catching, definitely… that little stunt with the head, so familiar, so cuuuute! My, she’s growing up! Is she going to school next year?

    Glad you’re back online! (I didn’t notice btw, but I’m orffline such a lot these days…) 🙂


  8. Pussycat44 says:

    When I lose….. (sorry, when the computer loses)…connectivity, I click restart, unplug the modem for a minute or so while the computer finds its way again, and then plug in the modem again. Works for me…I mean the computer.
    Little R is pretending to throw to the teacher, but she’ll throw the ball over the teacher’s head to the little boy in the orange shirt ;-).


    • colonialist says:

      This reminds me of something in UK Wizard’s sidebar with a picture of someone starting to say something calm like that. Then he beats hell out of the computer, and starts again!
      No I tried all that and this time it didn’t work.
      The interpretations of R’s actions are getting wilder!


  9. The Asian says:

    Internetlessness is one of the worst things ever, at least I’ve got my phone as back. Although it’s limited, it’s better than nothing!
    My guess is little R is going to throw it just because it would be mean of the teacher to throw it so high up and expect her to catch it


  10. 68ghia says:

    Best you get cracking with all those e mails Col 😉


  11. Harmony says:

    Arrgh there is nothing more frustrating than suffering from the dreaded internetlessness. So glad you have recovered.

    My guess is … R is about to throw the ball.


  12. Did you ever have the experience that a real live and living person on the other side of the line told you to go and find the solution on the internet? When that was the whole problem to start with?
    Well, I did, and I can tell you that I practically HOWLED in her ear!
    Good to know that you have solved the internet issue 😀


  13. melouisef says:

    We have to reset quite often, waiting for the day we can get Internet from a satellite..


  14. I get sooo frustrated when the internet goes down. You have my sympathy.


  15. newsferret says:

    Welcome to the club
    been my lot all day
    do not know what is up


  16. nrhatch says:

    By, George . . . I think she caught it! 😀

    Losing the internet can be so tiring
    But, as always, your words are inspiring.


  17. kragenhai says:

    But then again she could be catching. One never knows wirth females!


  18. kragenhai says:

    Throwing, I would say.


You have the right to remain silent - but please don't!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s