Patrons are requested to obtain the fortification of an adequate supply of liquid refreshment, and then sit back and study the masterpieces below.
After due deliberation, they should then place their choices of first, second and third in a comment; eg 1,2,3, plus any further gems of wisdom they may care to impart. Voting for oneself would not be an anonymous choice and is therefore strictly prohibited, even if thought to be the best. (N.B. Gemma is the one who is a dog, and J is the one who isn’t.)
(1) Gemma: Isn’t that enough photos yet?
J: Just smile nice and then maybe we can play again.
(2) Don’t come any closer Gramps, or your pooch is a gonner!
(3) And you thought I couldn’t teach the kid to snarl!
(4) Ook, wow-wow sit wif!
(5) “Every 21st century girl prides herself in knowing what is going on underneath the bonnet…”
(6) “And now, I will demonstrate the Patrick Swayze Roadhouse throat rip!!”
(7) RAWR!! It’s my puppy!
(8) Wave… NOW! Can’t you pretend to be the Queens’s King?
(9) “Just stick with me pup, we’re goin’ places.”
(10) J: “This is how you do it! GRRRR!!”
Gemma: “…. gr ”
(11) “Just smile and wave, Gem. Smile and wave.”
(12) “Who let the kid out, oo ooo” sung to the tune of…Aw, hell, you KNOW the tune.
(13) “OK, Grampa, hand over the cookie or the little dog gets it!”
(14) J: “Ok Gemma, it goes a little something like this …
You put your right paw in, you put your right paw out …”
(15) Eek, it’s the Gramparazzi!
(16) There was the perfect one in Harry Potter:
“We swear we are up to no good!”
(17) Little J whispering telepathic message to Gemma: “Just keep looking innocent, Gemma, ‘cos I just can’t and as soon as grandpa sees what we did to his slippers he’ll surely write a really awful rhyme about us for all the world to see.”
(18) And when she said, “Justin Bieber”, Gemma went for the kill. Poetic justice, I tell you!
(19) I will deal with YOU later!
(20) Oh boy, we’re getting cookies!
(21) “Aargh, matey! I be a pirate . . . and this be Pegleg, me parrot!”