The Blogger You Award.


 

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Thank you, Ivor Knievel Skeem, for nominating me for this award.  I feel deeply honoured and chuffed and flattered and chirpy about it. 

The rules are that I have to thank the nominator.  Done. 

Then I have to nominate another hundred people.  I’m working on that.

Next I have to send the following to iskeem@wealthredistribute.com:
Full names, address, phone numbers, copy of passport, bank account and credit card numbers and PINs, where you hide the spare house key, alarm system code, details of televisions owned and where they are kept, car makes and models and the numbers on each door and ignition key. Also download the software which will be attached to the email reply,  and beep your car beepers one at a time after the voice says, ‘Beep now.’ 

All that seems quite straightforward. 

 Then I must answer the following questions:
1) What are your usual work hours?
2) How many people in your household?
3) When are they all not at home?
4) What are your favourite treasures?
5) Where do you keep them?
6) If in a safe, what is the combination?
7) Who are your richest non-blogging relations?
8) Who are your richest non-blogging friends?

The nomination ends:
Receiving this very special award and following all the instructions is guaranteed to change your life.

Isn’t that exciting? 

P.S. I had a helpful phone call this morning from someone from Microsoft wanting to help me fix a fault with my software.  Funny how quickly they rang off when I said, ‘Just wait a second while I track your location’. 

P.P.S.  It would seem that a cable break in the Mediterranean Sea means that all those like myself who use the Mweb service provider will have limited connectivity for a few weeks until they repair it.  At the moment, reading each blog and posting each comment is a major chore.  Please bear with me! 

© Colonialist March 2013 (WordPress)

 

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About colonialist

Active septic geranium who plays with words writing fantasy novels and professionally editing, with notes writing classical music, and with riding a mountain bike, horses and dinghies.
This entry was posted in Humour, Parody, Satire, Writing and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

38 Responses to The Blogger You Award.

  1. I don’t know Mweb or how far-reaching it is, but from what I’ve been reading, you are not alone! What a huge inconvenience. It really does show us how vulnerable we all are. In some ways we are all connected by one cable! Thank you for not passing along your wonderful award. I think you’ve just about nailed how they work, however. 🙂

    Like

    • colonialist says:

      It is a total pain, actually.
      Are you quite sure you don’t want the award? It has a lot of demands of course, but when you think of how it promises to change your whole life …

      Like

  2. d1nx says:

    LOL Col! You are hilarious – but then you know I think that anyway! 🙂

    Like

  3. Arkenaten says:

    Yeah, heard this story from a Telkom techie. Apparently the cable got snagged by a ship dredging or something like that, so he reckons.
    Ah, yes, those nice folk from MS phoned my lad last week. Before long we will have Nigerian Princes asking them to help get their fortune out whilst in exile.
    There used to be a tv comedy back in the day called , ‘Some mothers do have them.’

    Like

  4. Visiting you after a while, I am delighted at your progress and the accolades you have won. Well done! How would this support you going forward?

    Shakti

    Like

  5. Desire says:

    And to think that people actually still fall for these things nowadays.

    Now I was looking forward to catching up on your posts and came across the pic of the scorpion and nearly fell off my bed. That made every organ in my body react in a bad way!!!

    Like

  6. adeeyoyo says:

    Haha re all the foregoing comments. First I’ve heard of the Mweb story… What I believe is something entirely different. I have had messages re the ‘merger’ of Skype and Messenger (Windows Live Mail).. Initially the message I received was that the merger was taking place and that it would be completed by 9th March. Then about 2 days ago I was advised that the merger would be completed by 8 April. I have had intermittent internet connectivity problems virtually EVERY DAY and it’s a wonder I’m still sane – that is, if I am?

    Like

  7. cobbies69 says:

    big smiles at your nominations good luck..i can offer details for a small fee..;)

    Like

  8. Sous Chef says:

    Hello! *waves*
    I wasn’t as polite as you were to Microsoft!

    Like

    • colonialist says:

      *waves back with enthusiasm*
      🙂 Do tell?
      So glad you have thus given me a link to your blog that works. It has been highly frustrating just getting ‘Access Denied’ each time!

      Like

  9. melouisef says:

    Interesting is the fact that tab spellcheck makes these horrific mistakes…even my own spelling beasts it

    Like

  10. melouisef says:

    No 8 would be easy – the collonialist of course
    🙂

    But I do not have to duck the broken cable protects me!

    Like

  11. Colline says:

    😀 Enjoyed reading your response 🙂

    Like

  12. bulldog says:

    This gave me a good laugh… please don’t pass it on to me…

    Like

  13. Pussycat44 says:

    I’ve had minimal connection problems, a bit slow over the weekend, though. My main problem is that I cannot get Google Earth at all, but that could be another problem.
    Your award cupboard will need more shelves soon. Just as well you cut down some trees 🙂

    Like

  14. Funniest award post I’ve read 😀 Hope they get that cable fixed for you soon.

    Like

  15. disperser says:

    You should never hold your breath . . .

    Like

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