REALLY AWFUL LIMERICKS


Limericks were the order of the day again.  Firstly, this was started last night, in between cursing: 

Our lights started flickering madly;
I knew it was bound to end badly;
And soon, sure enough,
All out they did snuff’
And blank screen I stared at most sadly. 

A candle is fine for a book,
And even at laptops to look,
But a modem for net
Candles never worked yet,
And so all my blogging was ‘stook’! 

The men came to do the repairs
Just when it was time for upstairs,
So when lights came on
To bed I had gone:
A terrible state of affairs! 

Then when I came to transcribe it, my mouse stopped communicating with the computer: 

And now, for an encore, my mouse
Has just taken leave of the house –
I had to remove it,
Replug and reprove it,
Until it stopped having its grouse! 

I edited our Garden Judges’ Newsletter today, and just for fun added this footnote: 

Oh, being a good Garden Judge
Is just such a terrible drudge?
But given the measure
Of pleasure to treasure,
I’m sure that the time we don’t grudge! 

Finally, just to prove that for a limerick anything goes, I chose to try writing one ending with the name of the capital of KwaZulu Natal: 

A man hailing from Pietermaritzburg,
Renaming the place Heatacarrotsburg,
 Likes roots that are cooked in his soup,
 But not feathers, and simply won’t stoop
To a title like Meetaparrotsburg. 

OK, so it’s pathetic – but you try and get any more sense than that out of such a word! 

Tomorrow I will be frantically filling in for some who have had to drop out of garden advice sessions due to family visits or serious illness, so if I don’t see you through the day I’ll see you … through the monitor, but later!  🙂 

© Colonialist April 2013 (WordPress)

 

 

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About colonialist

Active septic geranium who plays with words writing fantasy novels and professionally editing, with notes writing classical music, and with riding a mountain bike, horses and dinghies.
This entry was posted in Challenge, Colonialist, verse, writing, music composition, fantasy, Africa, journal., Gardens, Humour, Poems, Really Awful Rhyme and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

19 Responses to REALLY AWFUL LIMERICKS

  1. The Asian says:

    Your computer never seems to like you. Do you abuse it or was it always so moody? 😉

    Like

  2. I don’t think it’s pathetic at all: as usual, you twist words to suit your purposes with mastery. I am sorry you had all that hassle – I was waiting for the next disaster by the end!

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    • colonialist says:

      I had another set of amusments today I forgot to mention in my latest post – the car battery went flat and didn’t seem to be recovering, so everywhere I went I had to park on a downhill.

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  3. Oh my! That last one was a tongue twister, but you amaze me with your ability to pull it off, Col! I would probably throw in the towel and give up if I had as much Internet dis-connectivity as you experience. You just keep on going! 🙂

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  4. nrhatch says:

    There’s something fun about limericks
    Especially those that boast gimmericks
    They make us smile
    And ponder awhile
    On the sleight of tongue trickericks

    Like

  5. What wonderful limericks, Col.
    Such fun!

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  6. 68ghia says:

    You must be in seventh heaven with all the rhyming Col 😉

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  7. Amazed you could come up with anything for Pietermaritzburg. Well done. Love these. Glad you have electricity again. Good luck with your extra workload and see you through the monitor soon 🙂

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  8. optie says:

    Col I think your brain must be permanently in rhyming mode. Hope you stay reconnected 🙂

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  9. adeeyoyo says:

    We can never take anything for granted. Our lights went off last weekend. And now, just AFTER my shower thank goodness, the water is off! The more we advance, the more we go backwards…

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  10. bulldog says:

    Oh what to say to these..?. I wish I could do it… I wish I could just sit down and pound out a rhyme…

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  11. adinparadise says:

    Even in times of adversity, you come up with such clever really awful rhymes, Col. 🙂

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  12. There once was a man from Peru
    Who dreamed he was eating his shoe.
    He woke with a fright,
    In the middle of the night,
    To find that his dream had come true – Spongebob Squarepants (That’s my favourite limerick)

    Like

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