Really Awful Blank Verse

A complete lack of time I fear I have
To thank for the fact that my verse
Now must needs be blank;
I haven’t had the slightest
Opportunity for forming any
Rhyme, even of low degree,
And therefore there is simply
Not the faintest
Chance that the cause of poetry
May here well advance;
Instead will trickle
For the joy of bourgeoisie, some verse
Which one describes as loose, or very free! 

See, no rhyme … or is there?
The same words and word order, but a rearrangement of the lines and the creation of stanzas and we have:

A complete lack of time
  I fear I have to thank
For the fact that my verse
 Now must needs be blank. 

I haven’t had the
 Slightest opportunity
For forming any
 Rhyme, even of low degree. 

And therefore there is simply
 Not the faintest chance
That the cause of poetry
 May here well advance.

Instead will trickle for the
 Joy of the bourgeoisie,
Some verse which one describes as
 Loose, or very free! 

Today I wandered round some suburban properties which took quite a lot of wandering round.  Here is an example of a small section of one.  The splash of blue is a fair-sized swimming pool, so you get some idea of the scale.  Talk about getting lost in the woods in one’s own back garden!   Another gardener in the area has a picture of a Palm-nut vulture sitting happily on a stump in her ‘back yard’.  I didn’t even know we got those birds here, and they are not exactly what one would expect in an urban environment.

Large suburban garden - Durban

© Colonialist April 2013 (WordPress)


About colonialist

Active septic geranium who plays with words writing fantasy novels and professionally editing, with notes writing classical music, and with riding a mountain bike, horses and dinghies.
This entry was posted in Challenge, Colonialist, verse, writing, music composition, fantasy, Africa, journal., Humour, Poems, Really Awful Rhyme and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

22 Responses to Really Awful Blank Verse

  1. Andrew says:

    Have you put “Slam” poetry in its place? If so please direct me to your post.


  2. nrhatch says:

    Clever! And gorgeous.


  3. There were still some rhymes in your first version, whether you realised it or not:

    thank/blank – inner rhyme (despite my years of study and writing, the technical term escapes me today)

    slightest/faintest & any/degree/simply/poetry/free, even bourgeoisie

    You are a poet whether you like it or not 🙂


  4. cobbies69 says:

    It is the sunshine that draws me,, the country green is enhanced so much with sun..:)


  5. Arkenaten says:

    That’s a garden and a half all right. The trees do it for me. Beautiful.
    And your verse…very clever, as usual.


  6. I would LOVE a garden like that. I have never met anyone ever who can wiggle words around the way you do! Love it.


  7. bulldog says:

    Gosh that garden could be a golf course fairway… love the poem revision… you make it all seem far to easy…


  8. Colline says:

    Interesting to see how the placement of words can affect the whole feel of a poem.


  9. 68ghia says:

    Good heavens!! That looks like a farm rather than a suburban garden!
    Beautiful – would be my ultimate dream – I would just have much less grass 😉
    Cute poem Col – without even trying I presume!


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