I crept to bed late in the wee
Dark hours of the night,
When, shining in a corner, I
Espied a dim red light.
‘A toy left there,’ I theorised,
‘And battery running down,’
So with intent to switch it off
Went groping – like a clown!
I found a button, pushed at it,
And jumped out of my skin –
Loud drumbeats shattered all the peace –
It was an awful din!
A microphone, as it turned out,
Had been abandoned there,
But to ensure it was switched off
There had not been due care.
And, built into the wretched thing,
Was a percussion choice
To feature as the drumbeat sound
Against the singer’s voice.
Awakened from the deadest sleep,
The wife was not amused,
And with the background of the beat
I roundly was abused.
No button seemed to do the trick
In stopping awful sound,
Until, with torch, found volume knob
And firmly turned it round.
The racket faded out until
A final twisty ‘click’
Eliminated light as well,
So that had done the trick.
Return of silence gave the chance
For wife to air her views
On what she thought of me, and of
The hours that I choose!
And hooray for R! She came out of school not feeling too well, and it seemed that her only opportunity to do an official 400 meter swim before she turns five would be lost. However, she bravely decided to try, and although she was already rather tired half way through (the timer, ignoring my requests to cool it, was pushing her too hard at the beginning stages) she kept going and finished in a time of 26 minutes – 6 minutes slower than when she and I last swam the distance.
Anyway, the main thing is that she did it! I am very proud of her.
© Colonialist April 2013 (WordPress)
You better continue your rock career, unplugged. Congrats to R!!
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I’m impressed with your little swimmer! At only 4? Job well done!
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We are really chuffed with her!
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Good thing you didn’t jump out of your skin, Col. You would have looked rather thin!
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I don’t recommend it as a slimming system! 🙂
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You should be proud! Well done!
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Am indeed! Will relay …
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Bwohahaha Col, I can see the struggle with the infernal toy! Why didn’t you sing a few verses first – shake up the house a bit?
Heehee Long Life Cats and Dogs, to this day I do that with my brother’s children – he made my life hell when I grew up – now it’s payback, haha!
Well done little swimmer!
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As I indicated to Sonel, I don’t have a death-wish!
That is cruel and sadistic, and I think that, statistically, far more noisy toys are donated by relations or so-called friends than by parents!
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Ah you also live in fear of women-of-the-opposite-sex? Heavy handed? *smack* “ouch”
Haha I know and I love it! Payback time! reminds me, my nephew wants a hifi for his birthday – he loves hip hop music, his dad can’t stand it…I see a plan hatching…
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A Machiavellian one!
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ooooooh say again!
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I have no idea how long it would take me to swim 400 meters at this point . . . so I’m betting that R could beat me. Even if she was beat.
Especially if she was accompanied by the mid-night drumbeat from her Barbie microphone. 😀
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By the time one starts the eighth length, even the brains feel waterlogged! Maybe the rowdy mike would have come in handy there, to provide a stroke tempo.
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The last time I went for a swim was about 26 years ago and I was in the pool for about 2.6 minutes!
I had dropped a screwdriver while fixing a submersible pump…and it was a tad cold!
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Right: endurance swimming is NOT one of your things.
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Damn straight! Have you any idea how deep the Deep End is in out pool/pond?
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What, the little one between you and France?
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No The one I was immersed in and swallowed much of was called Dire Straights.
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I cannot even swim so well done… to you and R .. 🙂
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It helps being in a climate where even in autumn it is pleasant to get into the water! Thanks!
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😀 Had a good giggle at that toy and the noise. I used to drive my sister insane by giving my nephew any noisy gadget I could find. He loved them. She hated them. I didn’t have to hang around to suffer 🙂
Well done to R. I think I’d have drowned half way through
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You are truly sadistic!
Thanks – it certainly is a l……o…….n…….g swim!
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Well done to R. She’s a real star. 🙂 I can well imagine that MBH was very miffed about the noise in the middle of the night. Don’t let it happen again! 😦
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Thanks; I’ll tell her!
Next time I’ll just leave the batteries to die!
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Hilarious poem, but you haven’t mentioned whose toy that gadget is.
Well done, R. We are all proud of you.
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It belonged to R, of course! Still, she has amply redeemed herself.
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Your poem cracked me up…reminded me of two episodes I’ve had with toys. One was one of those silly cars whose siren goes off when it hits something…appears one of my kids left one in my car once and I kept hearing a siren go off but couldn’t see an emergency vehicle. It was only after pulling to the side of the road several times that I found the culprit!
The second was one of those noisy toys that shifted in the toy box and voiced off while the hubby and I were watching a scary movie…yeah, I about wet my pants!
Hooray for R! That is quite impressive and to think she’s doing this at her young age!
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Those two incidents are hilarious!
It is super she will be able to claim the feat as having been accomplished before she turned 5!
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LOL! You should have started singing Col! Lovely rhyme and good for R! Congrats! 🙂
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I may be stupid, but I’m not suicidal! 🙂
Thanks!
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Whahahahah!
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Well young R certainly is blessed with determination! I take my hat off.
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It certainly was an achievement. Her Granny felt so sorry for her she didn’t even want to watch!
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As you should be Col – she’s a winner that one!!!
As for the noise, and your hours – I knew there was a reason why I’m glad to be both single and rugrat free 😉
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She certainly has determination and stamina!
Yes, but think what blogging material they provide! 🙂
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And there is a motto we can learn from R… NEVER GIVE UP! 🙂 Congrats Col.
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It was an effort, but now she has that achievement under her belt for all time. I wonder how many adults (who do know how to swim) have never managed that distance!
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The things that go “thump” in the night!
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In this case, ‘Thump, bang-bang-bang, thump, bang-bang-bang!’ 🙂
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