Kate Shrewsday went and blogged about the Canons of Westminster being deprived of Hyde Park by Henry VIII, so she takes the blame for this:

 Red canon flip

The Canon he was playing round;
Got Bishops up in arms
For lots and lots of girls, they found,
Kept falling for his charms. 

Those Bishops had a meeting and
They called the lad to task:
‘To stop it, you must understand
Is not too much to ask? 

‘The congregation isn’t there
For Canons to seduce;
It is bad form, we do declare,
This sexual abuse!’ 

The Canon, though, had got to like
His totting up of scores,
And so he sent them on their bike,
And also said, ‘Up yours!’ 

The Bishops then got very cross
When by these words inspired,
So raged, ‘Indeed, you’ll be no loss,
And, forthwith, you are fired!’ 

‘Oh really?’ said this naughty man,
‘Well, I am going to sue;
I’ll make you broke; I know I can –
This action you will rue!’ 

And sad to say that, as his word,
He was indeed as good;
Cleaned out, they squealed, ‘This is absurd!
We didn’t think he could!’ 

So this will clearly demonstrate
That you can but aspire
A lot of damage to create,
Loose Canons, if you fire.

And a re-working in rhyme of the old classic:

 Red canon

For queens who have a baby,
They fire a salute,
And for princesses, maybe,
Some guns they also shoot;
But if a nun should have one, though,
The situation’s dire;
They do not shoot a gun; oh no –
A Canon’s what they fire! 

© Colonialist July 2013 (WordPress)


About colonialist

Active septic geranium who plays with words writing fantasy novels and professionally editing, with notes writing classical music, and with riding a mountain bike, horses and dinghies. Recently Indie Publishing has been added to this list.
This entry was posted in Humour, Language, Poems, Really Awful Rhyme and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.


  1. The Asian says:

    I think this must be one of the awefulest ones I’ve ever had the displeasure of reading! 😉


  2. nrhatch says:

    This is quite good . . . and not a bit awful. 😉


  3. Such a clever meerkat!


  4. Sonel says:

    Really beautiful banging rhyme Col! Loved it! 😀


  5. Granny Blossom says:

    Hi, nice one. Im back! I hope!
    How is everyone?
    Take care


  6. Col, I feel quite honored to have inspired your verse today 😀 fabulous as usual!


  7. bulldog says:

    Really good… love it…


  8. cobbies69 says:

    Very Clever,, …;)


  9. Grim. Homonyms in the English language have a lot to answer for.


You have the right to remain silent - but please don't!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s