REALLY AWFUL BANGING ABOUT

 

Kate Shrewsday went and blogged about the Canons of Westminster being deprived of Hyde Park by Henry VIII, so she takes the blame for this:

 

The Canon he was playing round;
Got Bishops up in arms
For lots and lots of girls, they found,
Kept falling for his charms. 

Those Bishops had a meeting and
They called the lad to task:
‘To stop it, you must understand
Is not too much to ask? 

‘The congregation isn’t there
For Canons to seduce;
It is bad form, we do declare,
This sexual abuse!’ 

The Canon, though, had got to like
His totting up of scores,
And so he sent them on their bike,
And also said, ‘Up yours!’ 

The Bishops then got very cross
When by these words inspired,
So raged, ‘Indeed, you’ll be no loss,
And, forthwith, you are fired!’ 

‘Oh really?’ said this naughty man,
‘Well, I am going to sue;
I’ll make you broke; I know I can –
This action you will rue!’ 

And sad to say that, as his word,
He was indeed as good;
Cleaned out, they squealed, ‘This is absurd!
We didn’t think he could!’ 

So this will clearly demonstrate
That you can but aspire
A lot of damage to create,
Loose Canons, if you fire.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And a re-working in rhyme of the old classic:

 

For queens who have a baby,
They fire a salute,
And for princesses, maybe,
Some guns they also shoot;
But if a nun should have one, though,
The situation’s dire;
They do not shoot a gun; oh no –
A Canon’s what they fire! 

© Colonialist July 2013 (WordPress)