Weekly Writing Challenge: A Pinch of You: Giving a Really Awful Finger

Weekly Writing Challenge:

Vic FallsA friend who went game-guiding
For famous and the great
Gave stories quite abiding –
And one I here relate: 

Victoria Falls Hotel

Days gone by; Vic Falls Hotel;
Liz Taylor breaks her fast;
Richard Burton there as well –
It was an all-star cast!

 Burton and Taylor

Their waiter there was standing
At pillar, in a doze,
No menu was he handing,
Instead, he picked his nose.

 Dining Room Vic Falls Hotel

At last, the man pulled finger;
Saw Richard Burton’s wave,
But still would tend to linger –
Which was an error grave.

Across, the waiter ambled,
With no attempt at speed,
Then with his life he gambled
To ask what they might need … 


‘A boiled egg’s safe, I’m betting,’ –
Voice rang to furthest corner at –
‘At least you can’t be getting
Your f***g finger into that!’ 

(This is a true story, except that his exact words were reported as, ‘Bring me a boiled egg; at least you can’t get your f***g  finger into that!’  According to our friend he used his full Shakespearian volume and projection, and the remark reached from end to end of the Victoria Falls Hotel dining-room
There is ‘A Pinch of Me’ in it, because of the way  I have taken an anecdote about the rich and famous which was personally related to me, but turned it into one of my Really Awful Rhymes.) 

© Colonialist July 2013 (WordPress)

About colonialist

Active septic geranium who plays with words writing fantasy novels and professionally editing, with notes writing classical music, and with riding a mountain bike, horses and dinghies. Recently Indie Publishing has been added to this list.
This entry was posted in Challenge, Humour, Personal Journal, Poems, Quotes, Really Awful Rhyme, Writing and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

41 Responses to Weekly Writing Challenge: A Pinch of You: Giving a Really Awful Finger

  1. bluebee says:

    Hilarious story, Col, and wonderfully spun.


  2. You do have a way with words–and so did he! 🙂


  3. What a truly awful but funny story!


  4. Harmony says:

    Ah, a trip down memory lane … I stayed there 22 years ago, had actually forgotten that trip until I saw the photo of the hotel! Here’s hoping that waiter was long gone by then!


  5. SidevieW says:

    gross, I’m glad he said that!


  6. Lisaman says:

    Love it!!! The caddies blow their noses into the little golf towels sometimes.. Never used a caddie since I saw that!!!!


  7. Hahaha! This sounds completely accurate. If I had his voice and presence and fame, I might be inclined to speak my mind as well. 😀
    Very enjoyable!


  8. Eha says:

    ‘Laughter in the afternoon’ . . . methinks this a totally true story . . . yes, a laugh now and oft a tragedy then: a pity when there could have been an alternate path . . . .


  9. nrhatch says:

    Yuck. I’d have fingered the picker by asking for a different waiter . . . and not sotto voce!

    Fun telling of a snotty snooty snouty tale!


  10. The Asian says:

    Very good as usual, gave me a good giggle


  11. 68ghia says:

    A truly wonderfully awful rhyme Col 😉
    The bygone days of glory and splendour…


  12. disperser says:

    . . . after that, I would not have eaten anything the waiter would have brought out . . .


  13. bulldog says:

    Is this for real??… love the share…


  14. Sonel says:

    Thanks for the giggle Col! Lovely rhymed as usual. 😀 *hugs*


  15. Pussycat44 says:

    Well-written, Col. I can just picture it all.


  16. adinparadise says:

    A very nifty really awful rhyme, Col, and such a funny tale. Truth is stranger than fiction, for sure. I can just imagine Richard Burton saying that. 🙂


  17. footsy2 says:

    A truly marvellous anecdote 😀


  18. alienorajt says:

    Love it! Most entertaining! Alienora


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