Weekly Writing Challenge: A Pinch of You: Giving a Really Awful Finger

Weekly Writing Challenge:

Vic FallsA friend who went game-guiding
For famous and the great
Gave stories quite abiding –
And one I here relate: 

Victoria Falls Hotel

Days gone by; Vic Falls Hotel;
Liz Taylor breaks her fast;
Richard Burton there as well –
It was an all-star cast!

 Burton and Taylor

Their waiter there was standing
At pillar, in a doze,
No menu was he handing,
Instead, he picked his nose.

 Dining Room Vic Falls Hotel

At last, the man pulled finger;
Saw Richard Burton’s wave,
But still would tend to linger –
Which was an error grave.

Across, the waiter ambled,
With no attempt at speed,
Then with his life he gambled
To ask what they might need … 


‘A boiled egg’s safe, I’m betting,’ –
Voice rang to furthest corner at –
‘At least you can’t be getting
Your f***g finger into that!’ 

(This is a true story, except that his exact words were reported as, ‘Bring me a boiled egg; at least you can’t get your f***g  finger into that!’  According to our friend he used his full Shakespearian volume and projection, and the remark reached from end to end of the Victoria Falls Hotel dining-room
There is ‘A Pinch of Me’ in it, because of the way  I have taken an anecdote about the rich and famous which was personally related to me, but turned it into one of my Really Awful Rhymes.) 

© Colonialist July 2013 (WordPress)


About colonialist

Active septic geranium who plays with words writing fantasy novels and professionally editing, with notes writing classical music, and with riding a mountain bike, horses and dinghies.
This entry was posted in Challenge, Humour, Personal Journal, Poems, Quotes, Really Awful Rhyme, Writing and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

41 Responses to Weekly Writing Challenge: A Pinch of You: Giving a Really Awful Finger

  1. bluebee says:

    Hilarious story, Col, and wonderfully spun.


  2. You do have a way with words–and so did he! 🙂


  3. What a truly awful but funny story!


  4. Harmony says:

    Ah, a trip down memory lane … I stayed there 22 years ago, had actually forgotten that trip until I saw the photo of the hotel! Here’s hoping that waiter was long gone by then!


  5. SidevieW says:

    gross, I’m glad he said that!


  6. Lisaman says:

    Love it!!! The caddies blow their noses into the little golf towels sometimes.. Never used a caddie since I saw that!!!!


  7. Hahaha! This sounds completely accurate. If I had his voice and presence and fame, I might be inclined to speak my mind as well. 😀
    Very enjoyable!


  8. Eha says:

    ‘Laughter in the afternoon’ . . . methinks this a totally true story . . . yes, a laugh now and oft a tragedy then: a pity when there could have been an alternate path . . . .


  9. nrhatch says:

    Yuck. I’d have fingered the picker by asking for a different waiter . . . and not sotto voce!

    Fun telling of a snotty snooty snouty tale!


  10. The Asian says:

    Very good as usual, gave me a good giggle


  11. 68ghia says:

    A truly wonderfully awful rhyme Col 😉
    The bygone days of glory and splendour…


  12. disperser says:

    . . . after that, I would not have eaten anything the waiter would have brought out . . .


  13. bulldog says:

    Is this for real??… love the share…


  14. Sonel says:

    Thanks for the giggle Col! Lovely rhymed as usual. 😀 *hugs*


  15. Pussycat44 says:

    Well-written, Col. I can just picture it all.


  16. adinparadise says:

    A very nifty really awful rhyme, Col, and such a funny tale. Truth is stranger than fiction, for sure. I can just imagine Richard Burton saying that. 🙂


  17. footsy2 says:

    A truly marvellous anecdote 😀


  18. alienorajt says:

    Love it! Most entertaining! Alienora


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