Weekly Writing Challenge: A Pinch of You: Giving a Really Awful Finger

Weekly Writing Challenge:
GIVING A REALLY AWFUL FINGER

A friend who went game-guiding
For famous and the great
Gave stories quite abiding –
And one I here relate: 

Days gone by; Vic Falls Hotel;
Liz Taylor breaks her fast;
Richard Burton there as well –
It was an all-star cast!

 

Their waiter there was standing
At pillar, in a doze,
No menu was he handing,
Instead, he picked his nose.

 

At last, the man pulled finger;
Saw Richard Burton’s wave,
But still would tend to linger –
Which was an error grave.

Across, the waiter ambled,
With no attempt at speed,
Then with his life he gambled
To ask what they might need … 

‘A boiled egg’s safe, I’m betting,’ –
Voice rang to furthest corner at –
‘At least you can’t be getting
Your f***g finger into that!’ 

(This is a true story, except that his exact words were reported as, ‘Bring me a boiled egg; at least you can’t get your f***g  finger into that!’  According to our friend he used his full Shakespearian volume and projection, and the remark reached from end to end of the Victoria Falls Hotel dining-room
There is ‘A Pinch of Me’ in it, because of the way  I have taken an anecdote about the rich and famous which was personally related to me, but turned it into one of my Really Awful Rhymes.) 

© Colonialist July 2013 (WordPress)