How to Escape a Really Awful Fate:

 

(To the tune of the Wedding March; inspired initially and to a tiny extent  by the Downton Abbey episode with the backing-out bridegroom, but mainly just for fun)

Here comes the bride,
Quick, run and hide,
You’re wed and dead
If you stay here inside –
Here comes the bride,
Swelled up with pride,
Be filled with dread
She has you cut and dried;
It’s not too late; miss this fate; you should run;
Move at a rate – her papa has a gun;
Here comes the bride,
Better not bide,
Flee, or you’ll be
Fright-ful-ly tightly tied! 

© Colonialist September 2013 (WordPress)