ericjohnbaker has issued a challenge to write the most gosh-awful short story not exceeding 100 words. I hope I have avoided Mozart’s error when he wrote his ‘Musical Joke’ lampooning talentless composers. Despite himself he produced some good music even with all the deliberate errors, so the joke was on him. However, I don’t think this ghastly effort has a single virtue:
Reskewed
It was a dark and stromy nite
Whoa is me I am lost” Jane, pronounced ringing her hands;
The tall dark hansome man rushed, up eagley “I found you and towns; thattaway’ he pronounced,
Janet saw the moon glint in his wavey fare hare and on his sparking teeth he was tall and hansome and good looking. Seeing Jaynes’ beautiful body and beautiful eyes and beautiful legs and clasped her to his bosom. Falling in love it was more than the temptation could resist.
Then braking lose; “mans gotta do-”
As he road into the sunset Joan missed him forever.
© Colonialist September 2013 (WordPress)
Colonialist's Blog 
Well, well… who would have thought, Col! Loverly 😀
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LOL!
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*eagerly* You’ll buy the book when it comes out?
Now to see about the movie rights …
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🙂
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Hehehe…… This is two dreadfull for wurds, Col. The “sparking teeth” really got my imagination going. 🙂
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I’d lay odds a lot of people simply missed that!
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🙂 Like you, I don’t miss much.
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YEESH. I am not sure I could make myself do that! What a dreadful, and imaginative tale. The sparking teeth made me think vampire immediately, but sigh, no such drama. Guy was wise to get away from that multiple personality chick! And especially before he tripped on the oddly placed punctuation and nearly right words. Whew, narrow escape. 😉
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I couldn’t risk a vampire – that might have made it interesting, so it simply wouldn’t do. No, his teeth had to sparkle in the moonlight of the dark and stormy night which came just before the sunset …
Narrow escape indeed!
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I absolutely agree with you. 😯
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You have written an excellent entry for the challenge, Col! 😉
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Thanks – can one really get excellently awful? 🙂
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Um…
Dear Col, thank you so much for the offer to let me steal your story. I think I’ll pass. Love, Tilly x
😉 You should definitely win!
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*miffed* You do realise that you are passing up the chance to gain top marks for that segment? 🙂
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What can I say? I’m an honourable writer (thank goodness) 🙂
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Yes well…
Awful sure, but not unreadable like the letter I got the other day written by a true idiot, and not one just play-acting 😉
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One cannot compete with those!
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That’s no maybe baby!
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Freaking awesome! Hosed myself.
This sounds like ariel Platerlander wot is trying to rite inglish.
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As a writer, you will recognise the errors the unskilled fall into – a bit exaggerated here, I must admit!
I have seen published books where a character becomes inexplicably renamed midway.
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One cannot overate a proof reader too highly, it seems.
I especially liked ” …ringing her hands.”
Hello, anybody there?
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Hello, no … yes …
The bit I enjoyed writing most was the ‘braking lose’.
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Tehy say, dno’t tehy, taht if you jmulbe up the ltetres beweten the frist and lsat in a lnog wrod it wlil slitl be lieblge…
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Atulalcy wroks anamzilgy!
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LOVED the spelling! braking loose!! excellent, most dreadful.. mission accomplished and fun too i think! c
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Ah, you scared me there for a minute, but I did actually have ‘braking lose’. It is amazing the way the mind substitutes the correct forms without one realising it – I wonder how many of the errors have simply become invisible?
Glad you thought it was fun!
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Truly awful…well done. 🙂
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*modestly* Awful is my speciality …
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The scarey ting is menee of our studints wud have past engleesh if they submited this
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Even more so is that they quite probably would have done so with an A+!
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This is Gosh awful alright…
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Goods delivered as advertised … 🙂
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my oh my i can get my head easily in a twist reading this gosh awful stuff.. heehee! love it by the way 😉
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Maybe I should adopt this style for a new series of novels? 🙂
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I was in tiers at the end
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This comment is far too good to try and cap!
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A Gr 8 English teacher’s nightmare!
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One I think they currently suffer daily, now!
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Your spell-checker is upchucking right now.
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It got so ill I had to send it to bed …
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That’s great comedy ryt thare.
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*shock* Comedy? But, my dear sir, this is a romantic tragedy better than Romeo and Juliet!
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