Really Awful Holy Mackerel


Holy Mackerel 

Now once there was a mackerel,
Of ancestry had lots;
Her name goes way, way back – Carol –
MacCarol shows she’s Scots. 

She wondered what there was entailed
When at the end came ‘FIN’,
And how the fishes could be scaled
As guilty of a sin. 

She sought religious mysteries
Both current and with flow,
And studied ancient histories
Their drift to get to know. 

She was informed the one true God
Lay deep on ocean floor,
But that turned out an ancient cod,
With whisker on his jaw. 

A far-developed sole she sought
As mentor to appear;
A Dutch one her attention caught –
He was a sole ‘Mijn heer’.

But found him simply full of sauce –
Sour butter-upper, that! –
He went and bottomed out, of course,
And there she left him flat. 

Then saw that cods who lurk below
And soles who do it, too,
Retain the things one needs to know
To still come swimming through. 

And noticed birds that dive from high
Could plunge beneath the sea,
And then re-rise into the sky
In manner wild and free. 

While she observed all human-kind
Restricted to one plane;
For humans you will only find
On surface, in the main. 

Philosophy she set in words
As well as one could wish –
‘The highest form of life is birds,
And, after that, come fish. 

‘While humans are right down the list,
For they on top of sea,
Or bottom sky, have to exist,
So live restrictedly.’ 

For philosophic things she’d say
Was Carol sanctified –
To Holy Mackerel they pray
In places far and wide.

© Colonialist September 2013 (WordPress)


About colonialist

Active septic geranium who plays with words writing fantasy novels and professionally editing, with notes writing classical music, and with riding a mountain bike, horses and dinghies. Recently Indie Publishing has been added to this list.
This entry was posted in Humour, Language, Nonsense verse, Poems, Really Awful Rhyme, Satire and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

17 Responses to Really Awful Holy Mackerel

  1. Harmony says:

    Whale, don’t be koi; I trout you cod do batter than a prawn again sole, or so I’ve been herring!


  2. calmgrove says:

    I’m not going to attempt to compete with the puns, but I did enjoy this, thanks, cod philosophy and all. And certainly not a load of codswallop.

    (Did you see what I did there?)


  3. The Asian says:

    This really was sole food 😉
    Very well written as usual


  4. cobbies69 says:

    Brilliant,, I was smiling all the way,, even when it took me a moment to catch on with the word play.. 😉


  5. bulldog says:

    Wow Col… this is brilliant…


  6. Something fishy about this


  7. adinparadise says:

    Very clever as usual, Col. I’m sure the Ark will have something to say about this. 🙂


  8. nrhatch says:

    Holy Mackerel, Col! I knew there was something FISHY about religion. 😛


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