Today, I discovered another lie.
I found my internet was off, and when phoning Telkom, as the Service Provider, I was told there was a problem with my account, and that I was being transferred to the Billing Department.
Then I was treated to the usual message:
‘All our Service Consultants are currently busy.
Your call will be attended to as soon as a consultant becomes available.’
Beware! It transpires that if you hang on indefinitely, you either get dropped or go into free fall.
To illustrate: this was at 10h30. For two-and-a-half hours I was subjected to ghastly music and occasional canned messages, which at least indicated I hadn’t been cut off. A consultant failed to become available in all that time, though. At 13h00 I gave up and redialled, again going through the same painful process. This time, however, I had a consultant on the line within ten minutes. I know, now, not to keep holding on for too long. The automatic queuing system obviously doesn’t work very well. Rather redial after not more than a quarter of an hour.
Anyway, they traced my payment. It had gone to another account in my name which I had never opened. They said the line would be restored as soon as the transfer was recorded. A couple of hours later, I was still internet-less. I went back on the phone, clutching some fistfuls of my hair …
When I finally got a consultant again, she declared, ‘You have to wait for the payment to be registered in the other account.’
‘No I don’t,’ I insisted. ‘You can restore my line NOW! Send a message telling the service people to do that.’
After some more yelling with ever-increasing decibels, I received reluctant confirmation that she had just sent such message as demanded. The consultant then explained most definitely, however, that it wouldn’t help because they would have to wait a few hours for the transfer to come through. She was still in the process of this explanation when my internet light blinked on. I was able to let out the big breath which I had taken in preparation for giving another blast of note.
I really, really don’t need such amusements in my life.