The Really Awful Mannerisms in ‘New York School’ Poetry


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Today’s NaPoWriMo prompt is to write a “New York School” poem:

New York

New York! –
The poets you have bred are few,
And how to rhyme they’ve not a clue –
Oh, fork!
(I know that word should sound like ‘muck’,
But that would make this effort suck);
Well, talk –
Why do the poems in your style
So often form, of crap, a pile?
We balk
At ‘crack’ as drug, or woman’s part,
With dreams of giving life to art,
You dork!
‘Here’s looking at you, kid’ – oh, please!
That Hump-free quote is as is cheese
To chalk
Compared with Danny, who’s ‘oh … Kaye’,
And Allen, in a ‘Would he’ way.

To walk
Fifth Avenue, where storm clouds rape
The countryside with ticker-tape …
Pop cork?
‘Bronx hill new moan here’ was the cause;
But Central Park is where to pause
For torque
As that’s the place you would unwind
To wrench from vagrants, that you find
May stalk;
But, anyway, your poets stink –
Their barrel, they do need, I think,
To caulk:
Your school of poets, meter log,
Like what you get in synagogue
Of pork!

© Colonialist April 2014 (WordPress)   (Piccie – Wiki)
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About colonialist

Active septic geranium who plays with words writing fantasy novels and professionally editing, with notes writing classical music, and with riding a mountain bike, horses and dinghies.
This entry was posted in Challenge, Poems, Really Awful Rhyme, Satire, Wordplay and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

41 Responses to The Really Awful Mannerisms in ‘New York School’ Poetry

  1. Pingback: Existential Angst | Spirit Lights The Way

  2. Pingback: Laughter: The Antidote to Insanity | Spirit Lights The Way

  3. Andrew says:

    Hey lissen, pal – we Nu Yawkahs could care less what chu think aboudus.
    Owah great poetic heritage is undimmed. Now weah did you say you wuz from again? ☻

    Like

  4. Anthony says:

    Yet again, Col hits the nail on the head.

    Like

  5. gpcox says:

    I haven’t been in Manhattan for 43 years – I see it hasn’t changed any! 🙂

    Like

  6. The Asian says:

    I think I just went on a round trip of New York in this poem. Well done!

    Like

  7. y. prior says:

    fun poem and great shot of NYC

    Like

  8. Lol Mmmmmmm pork from New Yawk – liked this one a lot – dork, fork, you name it, this rocks!

    Like

  9. Pingback: Day 21- NaPoWriMo poetry challenge…”The Empire State” | chattinatti

  10. chattinatti says:

    Brilliant!!! LMAO!! Oh this one made my night! Well done colonialist! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I’ll never even contemplate writing poetry now.

    Like

  12. Serena Malcolm says:

    This is pure genius. Poking fun at them in their own poetic style? How {naughty but} brilliant! As always your poem made my day! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  13. nrhatch says:

    Stop making fun
    Of people who are desperately trying
    To write poetry

    Who just want to make you cry
    So you at least feel something
    in your hollowed-out insides

    Yeah, they aren’t the best poem writers
    (Far from it)
    But what makes you better than them?

    Besides the fact that your poems
    Sound better and
    Make more sense

    Whatever

    Please, give these angst-ridden writers
    All the credit they deserve
    At least they are trying

    One day, in a land far, far away
    In the not-too-foreseeable future
    Their poetry could be better than yours.

    Like

    • colonialist says:

      Have you ever seen me mention
      That I suffer the pretension
      Of having any real poetic skill?
      No, I know all I do well
      Is to write in doggerel,
      And that’s a thing I go at with a will!
      But to call oneself a poet
      One would hope that one would show it
      A good deal more than managed by these folk,
      With their language so disjointed,
      And a lack of wit so pointed,
      One must surely just regard them as a joke?

      Liked by 1 person

  14. CC Champagne says:

    Love, love, love it! Not only do you make hysterical fun of these poets, the American and this style of poetry, but you do it so beautifully too! Well done!

    Liked by 1 person

  15. misswhiplash says:

    America is a lovely place
    where life is lived at a great pace
    but when it comes words to write or say
    they always say it another way.
    sneaked becomes snuck just as an example
    the use of English is less than ample
    I cannot see why it should be
    that they don, t speak English just like me

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Pussycat44 says:

    I think you should email this poem to Obama!

    Like

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