REALLY AWFUL NONSENSE RHYMES


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And for today, the NaPoWriMo prompt is to ‘write a poem for children. This could be in the style of a nursery rhyme, or take a cue from Edward Lear or Shel Silverstein’.  This is write up my alley – so a selection:

Salad Citizen

FLOOGLES

A floogle is a funny beast,
All flopsy in its flight:
It doesn’t seem to be the least
Aer-o-dy-nam-clee right. 

Its take-offs are a miracle
Of mind transcending bulk;
Its landings are all spiracle –
And end up in a sulk. 

Its mating cry’s discor-dint
Enough to cause to flee
All creatures less impor-dint
Than female floogles, see? 

Its nests atop sharp spires
Are something of a farce,
Unless a chick desires
A spike thrust up his … (pass!) 

They feed upon the gormliss,
A silly creature which,
With body rather formless,
Is yet, in protein, rich. 

So if you spot a floogle
Just let the creature be,
And satisfy, in Google,
Your curiosity. 

Don’t go near floogles, please, you!
The chances are they may
Come swooping down to seize you –
Mistaken for their prey.

TURTLE DISASTER

Turtle

Turtles are a kind of tortoise
That all live under the wortoise;
Turtles through these waters race
For they move in car-apace!
In the ocean see her hurtle –
Should you flip ‘er, she’s turned turtle …
Turtles, right way up, must be
Mock ones, therefore, you agree?
Turtles are a sorry group –
Often land up in the soup.

© Colonialist April 2014 (WordPress)

 

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About colonialist

Active septic geranium who plays with words writing fantasy novels and professionally editing, with notes writing classical music, and with riding a mountain bike, horses and dinghies.
This entry was posted in Challenge, Humour, Nonsense verse, Poems, Really Awful Rhyme, Wordplay, Writing and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

51 Responses to REALLY AWFUL NONSENSE RHYMES

  1. I love the Floogle poem. I’ve never seen one in real life. Are they extinct? Such clever nonsense rhymes, Col. 🙂

    Like

  2. y. prior says:

    ha ha ha – loved this – thanks for the smile

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  3. OMC that poor turtle… This is so funny, even Granny is laughing. Btw you can have some of my kittygrass for a real good bite 😉 Pawkiss 🙂

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  4. gpcox says:

    These are great – and not just for kids!

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  5. The Asian says:

    So do you drink turtle soup? 😉

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  6. Arkenaten says:

    The Turtle one is top drawer. How you worked in Wortoise is truly, a stroke of ruddy awful

    Material here for a laugh a page kids book.

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  7. Very cute, Col 🙂

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  8. Grannymar says:

    Your inner child was in his element today!

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  9. Ruth2Day says:

    I see your inner-child came forth! 🙂 loved the tortoise one

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  10. bulldog says:

    I do enjoy your mind boggling poetry… lol

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  11. Aaaaand, I’m off to eat my salad for dinner!! 🙂

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  12. Reblogged this on toofulltowrite (I've started so I'll finish) and commented:
    This is without a doubt the funniest set of rhymes I’ve read recently for the Children’s Poem / Nursey Rhyme challenge – read ’em and weep!

    Like

  13. I adore these – easily the best ones of the challenge – amazing, funny and witty – your talent certainly is woids – soiperb!

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  14. chattinatti says:

    I loved them all! Floogles and salads for everyone! 😀

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  15. If you need a new project, I suggest making a prototype of a Floogle to sell at toy stores. That would be a winner, with your poem in it’s little hand.

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  16. PookyH says:

    Wow! you really got carried away. What fun.

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  17. Anthony says:

    Yes, the salad. That was a good one.

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  18. cobbies69 says:

    I love Floogles.. 😉

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  19. Oh me! oh my! what fun making up your own creatures…What a roll model you are. I made up a few today but not as big a-ray 😉

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  20. suzicate says:

    I think I’d better watch out for floogles!

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  21. nrhatch says:

    I shall keep my eyes peeled for floogles!

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  22. misswhiplash says:

    Best of all I like the Radish one, or maybe the Turtle but having not yef seen a Floogle that could be interesting too

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  23. CC Champagne says:

    My favourite is actually the salad one! *smile*

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  24. kragenhai says:

    That Floogle sounds a bit like the flipfanpunfolderolopous they used the breed in Greece.

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  25. Have you written a book of poetry for children? If not, you should. I’d buy it!

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    • colonialist says:

      That is so encouraging! Water pit tea – most of the ones I’ve put together for a planned anthology of light verse are not really aimed at children, though a few dozen of them might be suitable.

      Like

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