REALLY AWFUL NONSENSE RHYMES


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And for today, the NaPoWriMo prompt is to ‘write a poem for children. This could be in the style of a nursery rhyme, or take a cue from Edward Lear or Shel Silverstein’.  This is write up my alley – so a selection:

Salad Citizen

FLOOGLES

A floogle is a funny beast,
All flopsy in its flight:
It doesn’t seem to be the least
Aer-o-dy-nam-clee right. 

Its take-offs are a miracle
Of mind transcending bulk;
Its landings are all spiracle –
And end up in a sulk. 

Its mating cry’s discor-dint
Enough to cause to flee
All creatures less impor-dint
Than female floogles, see? 

Its nests atop sharp spires
Are something of a farce,
Unless a chick desires
A spike thrust up his … (pass!) 

They feed upon the gormliss,
A silly creature which,
With body rather formless,
Is yet, in protein, rich. 

So if you spot a floogle
Just let the creature be,
And satisfy, in Google,
Your curiosity. 

Don’t go near floogles, please, you!
The chances are they may
Come swooping down to seize you –
Mistaken for their prey.

TURTLE DISASTER

Turtle

Turtles are a kind of tortoise
That all live under the wortoise;
Turtles through these waters race
For they move in car-apace!
In the ocean see her hurtle –
Should you flip ‘er, she’s turned turtle …
Turtles, right way up, must be
Mock ones, therefore, you agree?
Turtles are a sorry group –
Often land up in the soup.

© Colonialist April 2014 (WordPress)

 

About colonialist

Active septic geranium who plays with words writing fantasy novels and professionally editing, with notes writing classical music, and with riding a mountain bike, horses and dinghies. Recently Indie Publishing has been added to this list.
This entry was posted in Challenge, Humour, Nonsense verse, Poems, Really Awful Rhyme, Wordplay, Writing and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

51 Responses to REALLY AWFUL NONSENSE RHYMES

  1. I love the Floogle poem. I’ve never seen one in real life. Are they extinct? Such clever nonsense rhymes, Col. 🙂

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  2. y. prior says:

    ha ha ha – loved this – thanks for the smile

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  3. OMC that poor turtle… This is so funny, even Granny is laughing. Btw you can have some of my kittygrass for a real good bite 😉 Pawkiss 🙂

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  4. gpcox says:

    These are great – and not just for kids!

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  5. The Asian says:

    So do you drink turtle soup? 😉

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  6. Arkenaten says:

    The Turtle one is top drawer. How you worked in Wortoise is truly, a stroke of ruddy awful

    Material here for a laugh a page kids book.

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  7. Very cute, Col 🙂

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  8. Grannymar says:

    Your inner child was in his element today!

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  9. Ruth2Day says:

    I see your inner-child came forth! 🙂 loved the tortoise one

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  10. bulldog says:

    I do enjoy your mind boggling poetry… lol

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  11. Aaaaand, I’m off to eat my salad for dinner!! 🙂

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  12. Reblogged this on toofulltowrite (I've started so I'll finish) and commented:
    This is without a doubt the funniest set of rhymes I’ve read recently for the Children’s Poem / Nursey Rhyme challenge – read ’em and weep!

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  13. I adore these – easily the best ones of the challenge – amazing, funny and witty – your talent certainly is woids – soiperb!

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  14. chattinatti says:

    I loved them all! Floogles and salads for everyone! 😀

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  15. If you need a new project, I suggest making a prototype of a Floogle to sell at toy stores. That would be a winner, with your poem in it’s little hand.

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  16. PookyH says:

    Wow! you really got carried away. What fun.

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  17. Anthony says:

    Yes, the salad. That was a good one.

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  18. cobbies69 says:

    I love Floogles.. 😉

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  19. Oh me! oh my! what fun making up your own creatures…What a roll model you are. I made up a few today but not as big a-ray 😉

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  20. suzicate says:

    I think I’d better watch out for floogles!

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  21. nrhatch says:

    I shall keep my eyes peeled for floogles!

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  22. misswhiplash says:

    Best of all I like the Radish one, or maybe the Turtle but having not yef seen a Floogle that could be interesting too

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  23. CC Champagne says:

    My favourite is actually the salad one! *smile*

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  24. kragenhai says:

    That Floogle sounds a bit like the flipfanpunfolderolopous they used the breed in Greece.

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  25. Have you written a book of poetry for children? If not, you should. I’d buy it!

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    • colonialist says:

      That is so encouraging! Water pit tea – most of the ones I’ve put together for a planned anthology of light verse are not really aimed at children, though a few dozen of them might be suitable.

      Like

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