Following Instructions Really Awfully

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Following the following the following (sorry, I got stuck) twenty simple instructions is all it takes for writing a poem from today’s NaPoWriMo prompt.  I have dealt with each one methodically and – mainly – sequentially, and have completed it in *puffs out chest* eighteen lines!

1. Begin the poem with a metaphor.
 2. Say something specific but utterly preposterous.
 3. Use at least one image for each of the five senses, either in succession or scattered randomly throughout the poem.
 4. Use one example of synesthesia (mixing the senses).
 5. Use the proper name of a person and the proper name of a place.
 6. Contradict something you said earlier in the poem.
 7. Change direction or digress from the last thing you said.
 8. Use a word (slang?) you’ve never seen in a poem.
 9. Use an example of false cause-effect logic.
 10. Use a piece of talk you’ve actually heard (preferably in dialect and/or which you don’t understand).
 11. Create a metaphor using the following construction: “The (adjective) (concrete noun) of (abstract noun) . . .”
 12. Use an image in such a way as to reverse its usual associative qualities.
 13. Make the persona or character in the poem do something he or she could not do in “real life.”
 14. Refer to yourself by nickname and in the third person.
 15. Write in the future tense, such that part of the poem seems to be a prediction.
 16. Modify a noun with an unlikely adjective.
 17. Make a declarative assertion that sounds convincing but that finally makes no sense.
 18. Use a phrase from a language other than English.
 19. Make a non-human object say or do something human (personification).
 20. Close the poem with a vivid image that makes no statement, but that “echoes” an image from earlier in the poem.

O my luve is a red, red rose’,
Is something every parrot knows,
The pointed stab; the wafted sweet;
The song seen on the tongue, a treat;
But Robert, born in Alloway,
Had nothing for a bird to say,
Although all parrots say it – swell! –
But as they’ve never learnt to spell,
‘… tauld thee weel thou was a skellum …’
They’ve all inscribed it onto vellum:

That twinkling star of memory
Much dimmer than the sun could be
For Col to find, as will then prove,
The essence of a rampant groove,
Which must soon set the clearest course
(Ag, hierdie is ‘n groot gemors!)
For making  spheres declare, with glee,
‘Those parrots and some ecstasy!’ 

Here is a brilliant selfie of the poet

Here is a brilliant selfie of the poet – after going through this exercise he’s just a shadow of himself.

Colonialist April 2014 (WordPress)

About colonialist

Active septic geranium who plays with words writing fantasy novels and professionally editing, with notes writing classical music, and with riding a mountain bike, horses and dinghies. Recently Indie Publishing has been added to this list.
This entry was posted in Challenge, Really Awful Rhyme and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

52 Responses to Following Instructions Really Awfully

  1. The Asian says:

    That’s way too many instructions for me to follow!


  2. Harmony says:

    Bloody ‘ell; those are way too many rules for my liking. Well done Col, you certainly are committed! [or should be … if you know what I mean ;-)]

    Pulvis et umbra sumus. (We are but dust and shadow.) ~ Horace


  3. I got as far as #3 and gave up reading them – well done for sticking it out – I hope you have met all the criteria set out. I enjoyed the words in their own right! Alloway to the top…..


  4. Sonel says:

    Whahahaha! Not ‘n groot gemors at all Col! Well done and great shadow! Watch out for Peter Pan. 😆


  5. Only you could do this so well 🙂


  6. bulldog says:

    Looking at these instructions only the best can proceed…


  7. adeeyoyo says:

    Brilliant-ine (remember? Smooth and glossy)! You are lucky Col, there aren’t any flies on you!


  8. chattinatti says:

    Well done! Hahaha, 😀 I like it!


  9. PookyH says:

    I hadn’t seen the prompt. I’m glad I didn’t now! Sounds like a nightmare (well done)


  10. Anthony says:

    Col, are u also hooked on this selfie sh*t now? LOL!!! Grate outcome i must say.


  11. cobbies69 says:

    Great instructions especially when I get stuck for ideas… ;)..


  12. Serena Malcolm says:

    Fantastic piece! And here’s me thinking that men never follow the instructions *inserts tongue into cheek*


  13. newsferret says:

    Oh dammit, I don’t snap pit
    It all appears very well cated
    Like in that word complicated.


  14. You are one determined poet. I can’t pretend to understand a lot of it, but I sure am impressed at the effort! We had a similar prompt last year, and if I can find it I’ll post it. I couldn’t face writing another one!


  15. I have to agree with Miss Whiplash. 🙂


  16. Ruth2Day says:

    oh my word, that is quite a list of instructions. Are they crazy or what!? 🙂 You did very well 🙂


  17. suzicate says:

    I really stink at following instructions, and when there are twenty steps I know I’m sure to fail!


  18. misswhiplash says:

    You take a selfie with one click
    you write a poem with one flick
    you use your words with great finesse
    you are the greatest…yes..yes..yes.


  19. melouisef says:

    Sorry if all else fails read the instructions


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