Really awfully dead serious

Pooky’s Poems prompt for yesterday called for a serious topic in a lighthearted way

There are a lot of people
  it would really make my day
To terminate their contracts
  in a painful, messy way.
 
The rhino poachers I would take
  and slice off every nose,
Removing, for good measure,
  each one’s dangly blobs and ‘hose’.

The users of their products could
  with rat-poison be killed,
And rear-ends of the smugglers
  with boiling water filled.

They all are public enemies,
   so, fitting it would be
To give them public enemas
  with what one makes the tea.

Then rapists, too, should all have parts
  removed from lower front,
By using bits of cutlery
  particularly blunt.

And burglars barred, by having heads
  stuck right through burglar bars,
Then tapped at with a crowbar
  until they’re seeing stars.

And after that, invited
  to go their merry way,
With only one proviso –
  that their head would have to stay.

Car hijackers could find a blade
  which jumps out, on a spring,
To take off both their legs,
  and a career cut short to bring.

So many others are there
  who would greatly be improved
By having little chunks of them
  quite violently removed.

Yes; though no space to list them all,
  I hope to start a craze
For culling all such types in most
   imaginative ways.

Victoria Lake (picture Tripadvisor)

And regarding the one for today, on how one met one’s partner, all I need to give is the above picture, referred to in the poem, and a link.  I wrote waltz music to go with it, too:  Anniversary Waltz. 

© Colonialist May 2014 (WordPress)