Grave-diggers and crop farming types are very down-to-earth,
And valuators tend to be your gentlemen of worth;
Your tightrope-walkers need to be well-balanced sort of chaps,
And accident-insurers always suffer from mishaps.
A glazer is a guy who studies how to handle pane,
And blood transfusion fellows tend to do their work in vein;
Your undertakers deal with those who’ve gone from bed to worse –
Those undertakers’ vehicles are labelled ‘his’ and ‘hearse’?
An auditor must count for something, or adds up to naught,
And, like a dietician, to be good with figures ought;
All cooks and poets who rehash must suffer a re-verse;
Computer operators place their cursors where they curse.
A debt-collector is a man to whom much credit’s due;
In lawyers it’s appropriate to have a boy named Sue;
Some advocates appear in public without any briefs;
Rose-pruners take a cut because of annual re-leafs.
Re: why are electricians who re-wire so re-volting?
‘Coz if they get their wires crossed they will receive a jolting!
Mechanics are so brainwashed that it’s even food they’re bolting;
Sheep-shearers are sheer sheepish types sheep wool-fully are moulting.
Some ladies are like gardeners, and do their work in bed –
But what is planted where, with them, is better left unsaid –
Where plumbers lay their pipes, perhaps, and do it with a joint?
Oh, what a wrench and loo-dicrous such squirts one must up-point!
A dentist and a soldier-man both need to know the drill;
Your average executor goes working with a will;
Most authors, and that dentist, find that tooth’s stronger than friction;
While doctors, and that soldier, deal with damaging affliction.
A teacher used to use a stick to make the lessons stick;
The educator doesn’t, so now learning’s not as quick;
When pupils saw the stick you’d see their pupils would dilate –
The learners learn much slower, learning there won’t be such fate!
© Colonialist (2009) July 2014 (WordPress)
(Beware: more to come!)