There are fairies at the bottom of our garden;
There’s a group of rhino grazing on the roof;
And in case you’re gaping at me, going, ‘Pardon?’
I can show you ceiling rhino-boards as proof.
There are elephants that roam beneath the floorboards;
In the bathroom we have hippopotamus;
If you ask how many, I do not keep scoreboards,
And one really doesn’t want to make a fuss
There are pterodactyls nesting in the fig trees –
If their eggs fall, they can kill you on the spot;
There are maniacs that rampage past those big trees,
All intent on causing mayhem, quite a lot!
Oh … OK, so it’s a cruise-ship, not a ferry;
And it’s monkeys that are out upon the tiles;
And beneath the floor the mongooses make merry;
Kids in bath do all the splashing, full of smiles.
And the pterodactyl hordes are ibis breeding,
While their bombings are a lot more often poop;
And the maniacs are drivers who are speeding,
But exaggeration makes a better scoop!