A Teribil Vowel-lent Spel

    Just a warning to anyone foolish enough to visit us at lunchtime in a house we are going to be moving into – you could find yourself doing something like this!
After discovering that despite having been tented and receiving an entomologist’s certificate the house had borer chomping energetically in the parquet flooring, we sadly decided that the wood had to go.  It took friend and self about an hour to take the whole floor up.     Tiles will go there instead.  I’d like to see the bl…y little bu…rs of bl…dy b…orer b…eetle ba…rds get their teeth into those!

And now, a spell of insanity:

When it comes to trying to spell
There’s a part I don’t do well:
Choosing A or I or E
Is most difficult for me!
Seperate or separate?
Definite or definate?
‘See Pa rate’ gets first one right;
‘Defy night’ the other might;
Words, though, causing lots of trouble
End to sound a bit like ‘obble’:
When is ‘ible’ to be used?
When is ‘able’ most abused?
Rule of thumb for Latin stem:
‘Ible’ you would add to them;
Most such words are not complete
Without ‘ible’ at their feet:
‘Edible’ a case in point –
‘Ed’, as word, is out of joint;
Words like ‘wash’, alone, are stable –
Onto them, you would add ‘able’;
If a word should end in ‘e’
Drop the ‘e’ excusably!
But exceptions all abound:
‘Irritable’ may be found
Thoroughly one to dispirit –
There is no such word as ‘irrit’!
 And then ‘contemptible’, you find,
Despicably destroys your mind!

Oh, forget it!  When in doubt
Haul the dictionery out! …

Dictionary…dictionery…

Ary…ery…aaaaargh!

© Colonialist August 2014 (Orig Mar 2009) (WordPress)