Stop Sweetly Suffering in Salts!
I love to binge on condensed milk –
The best part of a tin –
The taste so sweet, the texture silk;
But suffer for this sin.
I have discovered when I thus
In gluttony indulge
At night, comes awful bit of fuss:
Bad cramp, I will divulge!
It is most utter agony;
Than toothache, worse, by half;
(Though ‘a gone knee’ it cannot be –
It gets me in the calf!)
And when in calf it gets at me,
For heifer seems to last,
Unless ay-bull, in salting-ly,
To steer it into past.
So when in middle of the night
I need the pain to halt,
The way that I can put it right
Is, rush and take some salt.
The salt dissolved, or licked from palm,
Soon sends me back to sleep …
Though I, if not to need such balm,
Condensed milk, from, should keep!