Really Awfully Of-Fishes!

The Net may look Gross, but is there to protect innocent visitors from these Ninja Killer Koi.

The Net may look Gross, but is there to protect innocent visitors from these Ninja Killer Koi.

Really Awfully of Fishes: the Of-fish-all Version: 

Have all of you haddock lovely day?
Cod have been a good eel batter!
(Salmon’s sprat cod have had that to say
All of a sardine, in chatter!) 

Getting into such bad halibuts,
Trout to kipper self from whaling!
Mackerel mess cutting out the guts –
Weigh to tuna fish all scaling. 

Mako koi up roach to mullet over;
Bass off and do get tarpon your pike!
Whiting wrongs saves some soles from Dover,
Yellowtails take a minnow to strike! 

Herring that, you are filled with hake, red,
Or does it mackerel skate of shark?
Fall off perch to a plaice in lake bed?
Sturgeon and tonic in the carp arc? 

Really Awfully of Fishes: the OFF-fish-all Version: 

‘Have all of you had a lovely day?’
‘Could have been a good deal better!’
Someone’s brat could have had that to say
All of a sudden, in chatter. 

Getting into such bad habits,
Try to keep herself from wailing;
Make a real mess cutting out the guts,
Weigh to tune official scaling. 

Make a coy approach to mull it over;
Buzz off and do get upon your bike!
Righting wrongs saves some souls from Dover;
Yell, ‘Oh, tales take a minute to strike!’ 

Hearing that, you are filled with hatred,
Or does it make a real state of shock?
Fall off perch to a place in lake bed?
Stir gin & tonic in the car park? 

(Hey, who said it had to make sense?)
© Colonialist October 2014 (WordPress)

About colonialist

Active septic geranium who plays with words writing fantasy novels and professionally editing, with notes writing classical music, and with riding a mountain bike, horses and dinghies. Recently Indie Publishing has been added to this list.
This entry was posted in Humour, Nonsense verse, Poems, Really Awful Rhyme, Wordplay and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

43 Responses to Really Awfully Of-Fishes!

  1. Andrew says:

    Your lines leave dullards feeling icthys.
    (Bait your hooks and tell them “stick THIS !”


  2. Grannymar says:

    It all sounds fishy to me!


  3. gipsika says:

    The human translation goes:

    ‘Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
    Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
    All mimsy were the borogoves,
    And the mome raths outgrabe.



  4. The Asian says:

    This I not just a aweful rhyme, it seems pretty fishy as wekl

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Tom Merriman says:

    Col, it kind of made sense to me and then I read the translation. Now I think it makes sense. Not that it has to, however… it was a good read anyway. I was trying to work out what the fishes actually meant before I spotted the translated version!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I can’t think up a clever fish comment. Most entertaining reading your poem and reading through all the comments though 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. bulldog says:

    That’s what you call a fishy poem…


  8. Ruth2Day says:

    you got me here, I can’t come up with a satisfactory fishy response! Although I will tell you haddock is in my fridge waiting to be eaten. And Captain Haddock from TinTin is a great, gruff character 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Something very fishy going on here. 😀


  10. I’m in the wrong plaice. Cod be skate-ing on tuna-ice. Ok that was bad but it’s late and I’m tired 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Arkenaten says:

    I read halfway and was forced to stop and go and find a Rennies.

    We don’t have a net over our fish pond /pool and thank the gods only lost one goldfish to the Grey Heron, but an African Darter had a hearty breakfast of baby koi several years back.


  12. I could just murder a G and T…and a very punny poet.


  13. misswhiplash says:

    That really is a terrible rythme
    lots of fishes all the time
    but it takes true guts I think
    writing poems in an eye, s blink
    you really are a man of word knowledge
    so I think you went to college
    to learn how to do these fins
    And a degree you surely wins
    very clever, very true
    wish I could write poems just like what you do


  14. cobbies69 says:

    Koi you, that had sole man… eel bet this fishy tail will fin’ end…


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