Really disgustingly awful toilet humour

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Toilet Humour Censored

(Sung to a merry little tune – music score available on request!)

I’m a floaty poo,
How do you do!
I’m a floaty poo,
Pleased to meet you!
However much you pull the chain,
I still come bobbing up again!
I’m a floaty poo,
Down in the loo.

I’m a floaty poo,
How do you do!
I’m a floaty poo
Leering at you …
However many times you flush,
I come back up in quite a rush! …
I’m a floaty poo,
Here in the loo. 

I’m a … (start bit)
… You think your guests will show disgust
To see me here, as well they must; …
I’m a … (end bit) 

… You yank the handle till you’re blue
Again I pop back up at you …

 … You wait for tank refill to stop –
Next time I’ll still float to the top! … 

… Some toilet paper on me pack –
Well, that goes down, but I come back! … 

… You jab me with a toilet brush,
But yet I will refuse to flush … 

… You then give up and go away,
Now I lurk in the bowl to stay –
I’m a floaty poo,
Still in the loo.

Colonialist May 2015 (WordPress)

About colonialist

Active septic geranium who plays with words writing fantasy novels and professionally editing, with notes writing classical music, and with riding a mountain bike, horses and dinghies. Recently Indie Publishing has been added to this list.
This entry was posted in Colonialist, Fantasy, journal., Really Awful Rhyme and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

16 Responses to Really disgustingly awful toilet humour

  1. The Asian says:

    This must be one of the awefulest ones yet! 🙂


  2. bulldog says:

    I have laughed my head off… then read it to wife who wanted to know what was so funny, now she is killing herself…. this happens to most of us at the most inopportune moments…. this is just brilliant…


  3. Zirkie says:

    Nooooo, Col!! Aweful indeed! 😉


  4. The title is wholly appropriate.


  5. Pussycat44 says:

    I’m not surprised! You are full of gas 😉


  6. Arkenaten says:

    Oh, chocolate log.
    Floating in the bog,
    I’m in a rush,
    Why won’t you flush!

    Disgusting you are, Mister N. lol….. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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