Really disgustingly awful toilet humour

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(Sung to a merry little tune – music score available on request!)

I’m a floaty poo,
How do you do!
I’m a floaty poo,
Pleased to meet you!
However much you pull the chain,
I still come bobbing up again!
I’m a floaty poo,
Down in the loo.

I’m a floaty poo,
How do you do!
I’m a floaty poo
Leering at you …
However many times you flush,
I come back up in quite a rush! …
I’m a floaty poo,
Here in the loo. 

I’m a … (start bit)
… You think your guests will show disgust
To see me here, as well they must; …
I’m a … (end bit) 

… You yank the handle till you’re blue
Again I pop back up at you …

 … You wait for tank refill to stop –
Next time I’ll still float to the top! … 

… Some toilet paper on me pack –
Well, that goes down, but I come back! … 

… You jab me with a toilet brush,
But yet I will refuse to flush … 

… You then give up and go away,
Now I lurk in the bowl to stay –
I’m a floaty poo,
Still in the loo.

Colonialist May 2015 (WordPress)