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(Sung to a merry little tune – music score available on request!)
I’m a floaty poo,
How do you do!
I’m a floaty poo,
Pleased to meet you!
However much you pull the chain,
I still come bobbing up again!
I’m a floaty poo,
Down in the loo.
I’m a floaty poo,
How do you do!
I’m a floaty poo
Leering at you …
However many times you flush,
I come back up in quite a rush! …
I’m a floaty poo,
Here in the loo.
I’m a … (start bit)
… You think your guests will show disgust
To see me here, as well they must; …
I’m a … (end bit)
… You yank the handle till you’re blue
Again I pop back up at you …
… You wait for tank refill to stop –
Next time I’ll still float to the top! …
… Some toilet paper on me pack –
Well, that goes down, but I come back! …
… You jab me with a toilet brush,
But yet I will refuse to flush …
… You then give up and go away,
Now I lurk in the bowl to stay –
I’m a floaty poo,
Still in the loo.
This must be one of the awefulest ones yet! 🙂
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We do try to keep our reputation for delivering choice really awful products!
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I have laughed my head off… then read it to wife who wanted to know what was so funny, now she is killing herself…. this happens to most of us at the most inopportune moments…. this is just brilliant…
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I am grateful some have giggled rather than retreating with disgusted expressions!
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Nooooo, Col!! Aweful indeed! 😉
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No false advertising involved!
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The title is wholly appropriate.
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And the ditty is certain to cause, in those not afflicted with a Mozart sense of humour, an urge to quote Queen Victoria!
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Holy s**t!! 🙂
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You mean the holes make it buoyant? Ah.
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I’m not surprised! You are full of gas 😉
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A gasbag, you mean? 🙂
Which reminds me to fill my car with ‘gas’ (as the Americans would say) for going away to the Midlands this weekend!
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Oh, chocolate log.
Floating in the bog,
I’m in a rush,
Why won’t you flush!
Disgusting you are, Mister N. lol….. 🙂
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That says it SO much more succinctly! 🙂
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Billy Connolly does a wonderful skit abut this and being on a British Rail train.
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He should have been Irish – you know, bog Irish? 🙂
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