Flash Fiction Fifty

As if I don’t have far more on my plate than I can chomp, I had a sudden urge to do some of the Flash Fiction I used to indulge in, as a useful exercise in brevity.  It occurred to me to start a Flash Fiction Fifty challenge, whereby the total story (including title) would be limited to fifty words.  First, I did a search, and I find that the Scottish Book Trust have a 50-word Fiction Competition.  The prompt for June is this picture:

I decided to enter, and dashed off the following:

‘Wow,’ Rob breathed, instantly in love.
Hopeless an approach; he’d just stammer.
‘Watch out, Eve!  Weir!’
One glance; an awkward dive.
‘Ouch!’ His arms jarred. On surfacing, grabbed the child, and struggled back.
‘G-glad it’s sh-shallow; c-can’t swim,’ as he lifted her to the girl.
Things went swimmingly after that.

Then I realised that, ideally, the story should have had another character – the ‘baddy’.  Also, it doesn’t make it clear that the girl can be available. So I produced the following amendment.  Pity I didn’t do it for my actual entry.  Anyway, isn’t it amazing how many words one can prune to keep to 50 and still make sense?

‘Wow,’ Rob breathed, instantly in love.
Approach hopeless; he’d just stammer.
‘Eve!  Weir!’  Furiously, ‘Marmeduke, why aren’t you watching my sister?’
One glance; awkward dive.
‘Ouch!’ arms jarring. Surfaced alongside the child, and struggled back.
‘G-glad it’s sh-shallow; c-can’t swim,’ lifting her to the girl.
Things went swimmingly after that.

The shortcoming of the Book Club competition is that one can’t see all, or at least a number of,  the entries.  I think I will try to run something similar, but where they all appear in ‘Comments’.  First, though, I may try to pen a short series on what I see as the elements of a good piece of flash fiction, with discussion and input welcomed.  Any interest?

© Colonialist June 2015 (WordPress)