Summer the Time I am Really Awfully serious … Summer Other Time!

I have combined three recent NaPoRiMo prompts here: a sonnet, a mix of trad and mod, and continuing from an existing line (in this case of some obscure bloke who has just had a 400^th birthday):

Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?
Well, babe, you are most definitely hot,
And unpredictable in ‘whether’ way,
So, boring, you are definitely not;
While summer days do tend to be too long,
Beyond the scope of what’s, like, known as great,
Your ‘long’ing doesn’t stretch to too much wrong –
Reckon I’d like you stacks to be my date;
But showers I beg that you abjure forthwith,
That sobbing-jazz of yours gets up my nose
In fact, subjected to the slightest sniff,
I check out, doll, so you must needs suppose,
..  That if you wanna do the scene with me
…  You need to wash out tears summarily.

© April 2016 Colonialist (WordPress)