On Moanday it was set as my endeavour
With chainsaw, branches over garden hut,
To cut; but something else was there I’d sever –
The land-line (sky-line?) – what a silly mutt!
The roof was overdue for being painted,
And painter keen on sloshing lots of paint,
But at the thought of chainsaws he near fainted –
He said, ‘I paint; but woodcutter I ain’t!’
So up I climbed, with chainsaw at the red-y,
(Though it was green we wanted, and not red)
And from a perch that wasn’t all that steady,
My sawing skills were -ible, quite incred-!
But tangled in the branches was this cable …
I found it, and avoided it with care;
Too late! It turns out that I had been able
To nick it with the first cut I’d made there.
That slice of bad luck left me with no landline,
And took out more important things as well –
To live without the telephone I’d stand fine,
But not without the darn ADSL!
Eventually they patched the thing together,
And backlog emails came in by the score
To tell of unread posts; I don’t know whether
I’ll have the time to read them any more.
So that’s the reason why I have been missing –
I’m back, though, so you can all cheer and shout
With jubilation – Hey, who is that hissing?
You nasty, unappreciative lout!