Watson a Name?

It’s elementary, my dear:
What’s pictured on your sporting gear
With no colonialist show
Should there, on any portion, go;
The Springboks came from bad old days,
But now a bloke who cricket plays
Must as a Protea be known —
And yet, thereby it can be shown
The British influence remains
Which is what SA now disdains;
Just name a country most ‘Pro Tea’ –
Yes, surely, that must Britain be?


South Africa is left behind
On names, and they now need to find
A Zim- or Zam-type label for
The country that we all adore;
A zany one has come to mind …
Azania one’s hard to find!
Tanzania is where you go
To, though, for stranger tan to show?
So, maybe, Guptazumaland
Would sound sufficiently grand
And neatly get the message through
Of who is now in charge of who.

Would EMBANGWENI also be
Inclined to being so PRO TEA?

Colonial place-names are out,
And there are sorry squeals about
The spelling used for some of those
For which the Zulu names they chose;
So Empangeni, we now hear
As Embangweni should appear,
And Umthwalume, rearrange:
To uMthwalumi it must change,
And so eliminating these
Colonialist legacies! —
But colonists, they should recall,
Brought in the art to spell at all.

© June 2017 Colonialist

About colonialist

Active septic geranium who plays with words writing fantasy novels and professionally editing, with notes writing classical music, and with riding a mountain bike, horses and dinghies. Recently Indie Publishing has been added to this list.
This entry was posted in Africa, Ancestry, Colonialist, Current Affairs, History, Really Awful Rhyme, Satire and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to Watson a Name?

  1. I am tempted to ask a la ‘jesting Pilate, ‘what is civiiisation’… does everyone have their own version of this?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. That’s what I can’t understand, why don’t they use their own letters and alphabet if the think that we are such lousy people? Oh I forgot; that don’t have any written language, do they?


    • colonialist says:

      They do seem to have been a long way off inventing those when the settlers came and adapted their own alphabet for the language. No credit is given for that; only blame for the ones they got ‘wrong’ Like the Brits etc heard ‘Um’ for words actually said starting with just an ‘M’ sound. Natural enough; it is a tricky distinction.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I had no problem when the Springboks were renamed the Proteas – surely the most butch flower in existence?


  4. Tom Merriman says:

    Are there changes on the horizon, Col?
    A nice poem, although I must admit I tripped up over some of those names! 😳


    • colonialist says:

      Oh, these little laddies with nothing better to do are constantly changing street and town names and engaging in the utter futility of trying to ‘decolonise’ everything. They are too dim to realise that if they did a proper job they would un-civilise as well.


  5. Colline says:

    Loved this dear Colonial 😀


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