Counting Costas


Spain has the Costa Brava, the Costa Del Sol, the Costa Blanca, the Costa de la Luz and several more Costa-type places.

 

Costa Rica in South America has much to recommend it if you don’t mind an awful lot of damp for half the year.

 

 

The KwaZulu Natal North Coast is now competing, though: their costlier Costa being Costa Narmandaleg.  It is also known as Sandton-by-the-Sea (Sandton being a posh Johannesburg suburb).

The people who move in there have got rid of all canaries. They don’t want a hint of anything that goes ‘cheep-cheep’.  In fact, they now have private tutors to get their prize budgies to chant ‘expensive-expensive’! If they move in with a dog called Fifi, it becomes Pheephee; Fido is Phaedeaux; Butch is Beautsche and Rover Reauverre. They put on so much side you can’t see past them. They refer to the shop ‘Game’ as ‘Gahmay’.

They refuse to drive a Toyota; it has to be a real one. In fact, they like lots of flashy wheels, and need two lockup garages per bedroom — and that includes the servants’ quarters.  They get lost inside their gated communities and have to be rescued. They also have interesting ten-to-fifteen kph collisions there between Maseratis, Lamborghinis, Porsches, Jags, and even lowly BMWs and Mercs.

Instead of a braai (barbeque) they have a sushi-bake. They also believe in cooking oysters.

The wine they buy is priced by the drop.

Schools they send their kids to are so private they can no longer find them.

Sandton is glad to be rid of them …

 

Owlingly Awful Talepiece:


© September 2017 Colonialist
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About colonialist

Active septic geranium who plays with words writing fantasy novels and professionally editing, with notes writing classical music, and with riding a mountain bike, horses and dinghies. Recently Indie Publishing has been added to this list.
This entry was posted in Beach, Humour, Satire, Writing and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Counting Costas

  1. I recall Costa’s used to be our fish & chip shop in Dagenham Essex back in the 1940’s, “piece of cod and sixpen’oth of chips please”

    Like

  2. de Wets Wild says:

    Had me smiling from ear to ear!

    Like

  3. Desdi says:

    Love your titular word-play !

    Like

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