Lost Days, Drier Humour, and a Painful Subject.


Dear Sirs,/ Month that I ordered duly received,
But I feel in this matter I have been deceived;
When counting the days,
A shortage displays —
Please forward three more, or I’ll feel aggrieved.

In Jan I had use of a full thirty-one,
Though those barely gave enough time for much fun;
I need the whole lot —
Three more than I’ve got! —
While we’re still enjoying the summertime sun.

And talking of sunlight, duration is fine,
But humiture truly is crossing the line,
To fix it, I guess,
It needs a lot less,
So, make all the days to a drier design.

Do note the comparative adjective there,
For, to have said ‘dryer’* would be as in ‘hair’,
How that could be done …?
Make hotter the sun!
No good!/Yours truly, /(Needing customer care)

A centipede in our garden (as opposed to a millipede, which is comparatively harmless).

My grubby fingers are shown to give an idea of scale. This could have cost me dear. A sting from one of these sweet little wigglers is not lethal, but on a pain scale of 1 to 10 is said to be a ten.

*A ‘dryer’ is an appliance, as against the comparative adjectives of ‘dry’: drier, driest. This distinction in usage has only really solidified in the 21st century.

© February 2018 Colonialist

About colonialist

Active septic geranium who plays with words writing fantasy novels and professionally editing, with notes writing classical music, and with riding a mountain bike, horses and dinghies. Recently Indie Publishing has been added to this list.
This entry was posted in Africa, Grammar, Humorous rhyme, Really Awful Rhyme and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

24 Responses to Lost Days, Drier Humour, and a Painful Subject.

  1. I trust you scrubbed those hands, and cleaned those nails, showered, and was presentable when next sitting at table Col 😈 I’m being quite 🐱 e

    Like

  2. granny1947 says:

    Once again I am blown away by your clever use of words.

    Like

  3. toutparmoi says:

    Wow! That’s some centipede. I’ve never seen the giant NZ one – quite shy creatures, I understand. But capable of inflicting a painful nip in self-defence.

    Like

  4. UGGHHH – creatures like the one you so kindly show us, exist in New Zealand, almost the only nasty stinging thing here, apart fro the cadipose spider, and wasps of course…no snakes, nuffink…
    and a propos your moving verse… do you have a drought like the Capetoun disaster I’ve been reading about???/

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Calmgrove says:

    Love the faux complaint! Did you find the appropriate department to address it to? ☺

    And thank you for the Public Service announcement with graphic display. We shall always be grateful for you putting your life/discomfiture at risk to make us better informed, pray do some more of these — we need to be warned of more risks!

    Like

  6. Jy is heeltemal te dapper *grrrillll*

    Like

  7. disperser says:

    We have something similar here in Hawaii. Haven’t seen one yet.

    Like

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