This Simply Sucks!

 Our vacuum cleaners were destroyed
By maids with regularity
They too much weight on them deployed
A matter of great gravity;
Industrial machine we bought,
They cant destroy this one, we thought,
But soon a lesson we were taught:
Destructiveness capacity! 

The head and fittings on the end
Were well and truly mangled,
And wires tangled at a bend
Which could not be untangled;

Rewiring it was a chore;
Replacing head was just one more —
Pill-bottle I put in as core!
A remedy new-fangled.

 © February 2018 Colonialist

About colonialist

Active septic geranium who plays with words writing fantasy novels and professionally editing, with notes writing classical music, and with riding a mountain bike, horses and dinghies. Recently Indie Publishing has been added to this list.
This entry was posted in DIY, Humorous rhyme, Personal Journal, Really Awful Rhyme, Wordplay and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to This Simply Sucks!

  1. The Asian says:

    I think all go to a school where they are trained to break vacuum cleaners. The things break as if they were made of glass


  2. Glad to see Shakespeare has a rival at last. One of the most amusing ads I ever saw had the tagline, “Nothing sucks like an Electrolux”. I’ll leave that one with you…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Get rid of the maids and do it yourself. Problem solved.


  4. Brilliant! They do have a habit of wrecking homes don’t they? I used to have a male ‘cleaning operative’ (politically correct name for cleaners, apparently!) While he was here we had more ornaments glued together than those intact!


    • colonialist says:

      Do you also find with your versions that common sense is incredibly uncommon? One of the habits I simply shake my head over is to sweep all the dust from one end of a room to the other, and only then pick it up with the dustpan. Maybe it is the thrill of gathering an ever-increasing pile. Ignored is the fact that part of that pile is being left en route.

      Liked by 1 person

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