Just Not Cricket


Day 16 GloPoWriMo

 

‘Do play the game, old chap,’
And, ‘Simply not cricket, dear boy.’
Are out of date, mayhap —
And don’t modern usage enjoy.

Strange things go on at Lords,
And within those once-hallowed halls,
Umpires reach accords,
And bowlers go rubbing their balls.

And ‘wicket’, batsmen are,
With glue, when they stick down the stumps,
And keepers, when they spar
To make batsmen down in the dumps.

To have supporters flash
A mirror towards fieldsman’s eyes,
And call out comments brash
To umpires whom they despise,

Is all part of the game
Of cricket as now it is played;
So things are not the same,
And have gone distinctly downgrade.

This type of large cricket, found in Johannesburg, is known a Parktown Prawn.

A local fruit bat.

A singing insect that,
When up with a flying mouse mixed,
Would make a cricket bat …
That was, like the game, badly fixed!

© April 2018 Colonialist
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About colonialist

Active septic geranium who plays with words writing fantasy novels and professionally editing, with notes writing classical music, and with riding a mountain bike, horses and dinghies. Recently Indie Publishing has been added to this list.
This entry was posted in Africa, GloPoWriMo, Poems, Really Awful Rhyme, UK, Wordplay and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

21 Responses to Just Not Cricket

  1. I liked your post although I disagree with it

    Like

    • colonialist says:

      Interesting that you find an aspect to disagree with. What is it?

      Like

      • I may have misunderstood but from your post I gather that you’re not a fan of sledging? I think it’s a necessary part of the game.

        Like

        • colonialist says:

          There we do agree to disagree. My view is that it is contrary to the spirit and traditions of cricket, and totally unnecessary. It cheapens it into a spectacle of a group of bickering boys.

          Like

          • I understand where you’re coming from. However, I feel that cricket more than any other sport is played in the mind. The mental aspect of the game is what draws me to it. The ability to handle the immense amount of pressure put on them is incredible. Mental disintegration, as it’s been called, is an attempt to get inside the opposition player’s mind and mess with their head. Obviously, different players handle it differently and I find it fascinating to watch how world class players react to it. Just my two cents.

            Like

            • colonialist says:

              It certainly provides entertainment (which has become the primary aim of all top sports to go with the commercialisation) but I still regret that it has invaded the cricket pitch simply because ‘that’s not cricket’.

              Liked by 1 person

  2. Sadly – well done

    Like

  3. Stephanie Haahjem says:

    One word…BRILLIANT!

    Like

  4. It’s now “Pay up, Pay up and we’ll play the game!”
    Cricket has lost all meaning; I no longer give a tinkers cuss

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Obviously the games are on.
    (Now that’s a large cricket….can’t imagine the racket they must make)

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Arkenaten says:

    The gods … not a Prawn. Eeek . Loathe the little bar-stewards.

    Liked by 1 person

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