Really Awful Natural and Unnatural Causes


The gate clambered over and a bit busted.

We have a lovely neighbourhood
That always entertains,
Last night yard-hoppers thought they should
Seek out ill-gotten gains.

But Younger Daughter heard them here
And sounded the alarm,
At which they scooted off in fear
And just our gate did harm.

COP, SAP and Mets* came and gave chase,
And caught one down the track,
Who’ll go into a prison place
And will not soon be back.

And just a day or so ago
Bomb-scare at local Mall
Made me decide to do no-show —
Planned visit off to call!

A car was nicked from down the road
Within the current week
It seems our reputation grows
As place where wheels to seek.

And on the fourth, in easy reach
From where our place is at
Dead body washed up on the beach —
No details known of that.

This morning someone down the road
Went and turned up her toes,
This, folks found here to have abode
Still die of old age, shows.

*Community Oriented Police, South African Police, Durban Metro Police.
© August 2018 Colonialist

About colonialist

Active septic geranium who plays with words writing fantasy novels and professionally editing, with notes writing classical music, and with riding a mountain bike, horses and dinghies. Recently Indie Publishing has been added to this list.
This entry was posted in Africa, Colonialist, Humorous rhyme, Personal Journal, Really Awful Rhyme and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

15 Responses to Really Awful Natural and Unnatural Causes

  1. Reading your versifying makes me feel there is more to be said for living in splendid isolation in the middle of a forest than I had supposed…
    I hope the grand daughter is progressing and all is well …

    Liked by 1 person

    • colonialist says:

      There is, indeed.
      We are still waiting to hear more about an ‘abnormality’ in one of the lobes. Meanwhile she carries on as normal doing lots of trampolining, writing, drawing, and swimming.


  2. Lizzie Ross says:

    Just goes to show: if it isn’t one thing, it’s half a dozen others.


  3. Widdershins says:

    Tough neighbourhood. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Arkenaten says:

    Was reading something on the net about far off Japan,
    As crime is almost zero might be nice to make a plan.
    Things tend not to wander off, remaining tethered or moored,
    And police for the most part try not to get too bored.

    Should we Nippon over and have a gander?

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Praise for the exposition it is

    Liked by 1 person

  6. disperser says:

    Again, can’t like . . . but well-composed.


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