Invective Lecture

Image result for swearing man cartoon

You may have seen that on my blog
‘Bitch’ simply means a female dog;
While ‘dam’ and ‘blast’ is water stored,
And with explosion outward poured:
‘Helen dim-nation’
is a she
From stupid nationality;
When seeking words to rhyme with ‘muck’,
From certain choices, there, I duck;
Though if I’m really in a spate
I might well yell out, ‘Fornicate!’
While, ‘Gory pub-attendant,’ hiss —
Don’t use the simpler form of this! —
‘Gory bar steward,’ also use
The other version I will lose;
But ‘Gore Dumb Bit’ can come in, too,
As a ‘gore’ variant that’s new,
And ‘You are souls’, as insults go:
Not bad for those who’re in the know;
But, then again, I jib a bit
To use a word that may well fit,
But does so at far greater cost
Than my preferred one, which is ‘Thost!’ —
Old English, and displays more wit
When with a hammer, thumb you hit;
Why did I now, with this display
Elect to launch out here today?
‘Twas simply, on first blog I saw,
Observed a word that I abhor!

© August 2019 Colonialist

About colonialist

Active septic geranium who plays with words writing fantasy novels and professionally editing, with notes writing classical music, and with riding a mountain bike, horses and dinghies. Recently Indie Publishing has been added to this list.
This entry was posted in Africa, Humorous rhyme, Humour, Language, Personal Journal, Really Awful Rhyme and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to Invective Lecture

  1. A friend of mine jointly invented a card game called MY WORD. It involves four letter words. It has been translated into many languages each of which had to be studied and designed so that rude words could not be formed


  2. elspethc says:

    I once taught a “dirty words” class to student teachers, so these innocents could hear their pupils language without showing their own vast inexperience. I could have used this verse.


  3. Ouch!! I got into big trouble with my mom for saying, “Oh, Knickers!”


  4. disperser says:

    I wrote about swearing once . . . and I have exactly one profanity-laced post (intentional and meant to make fun of people who punctuate opinions with swear words as if that bolsters the validity of said opinions).

    I do little swearing in real life and rarely on the blog (other than referencing body parts names as descriptors for people, itself limited to fairly innocuous parts).

    I like your homophonic approach.

    Liked by 1 person

    • colonialist says:

      I have never seen the sense of putting one or another swearword into every sentence as so many people do. When I use one of my rare outbursts, it is with true feeling and helps to reduce the pressure.

      Liked by 2 people

You have the right to remain silent - but please don't!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s