A Really Awful Stinker


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The average people found these days,

Because of stupid sentiments,

Smell different in strangest ways

All have a lack of common scents.

© February 2017 Colonialist
Posted in Africa, Current Affairs, Really Awful Rhyme, Satire, Wordplay | Tagged , , , , | 9 Comments

Worse than Monkeys


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Our monkeys are forming a faction
Expressing the outrage they feel
And will probably take legal action
At statements they rampage and steal. 

They merely make use of whats owed them
From areas where they were first
Whence nobody has overthrowed them,
Although they have all tried their worst. 

But more than that, they are offended
By insults far worse sent their way,
Demanding apologies tendered
From those, Almost human!, who say. 

How is it you dare to compare us
With such a despicable kind?
Forthwith we insist such you spare us,
Or prompt litigation youll find!

© February 2017 Colonialist
Posted in Africa, Humorous rhyme, Really Awful Rhyme, Satire, Wildlife | Tagged , , , | 28 Comments

Saved by Loan Sharks


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Wordle 287

Marooned; no hope when the boom was lost;

Rescuers deny line – we must sign a deal

To fill which, sky would seem the cost;

Rather swing into stream and drift, we feel!

© February 2017 Colonialist
Posted in Challenge, Rhyme, Wordle | Tagged , , , | 10 Comments

Congratulations to an Ex-teenage Grandson


Wishing a most ecstatically happy birthday to the second of our teenage grandchildren to stop being that.

It wont be long before the two pre-teens stop being pre-, too.  In the meantime the latter do help make us feel less ancient.

Here he is with (not-too-much) older sister at a family dinner at the charmingly ‘period’  listed building housing Prezzo Restaurant in Romsey, not long before our return home this last December.

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We are proud of you for continuing to do the write thing in University. Carry on!

Posted in Grandchildren, Personal Journal | Tagged , | 12 Comments

Granny (Dilly) Botany you’d Guava not know …


The touch of blue you see on high Is parts of sea as well as sky.

The touch of blue you see on high
Is parts of sea as well as sky.

To add big apples I thought wise, So that one can compare the size!

To add big apples I thought wise,
So that one can compare the size!

When with a passion fruit you miss
Try Passiflora edulis
Dad with a taste for motoring*
The guavadilla’s praise will sing
These yellow be and may be tarter
Variety is flavi car pa*.
What is the favourite recipe for this?
Mix seeds and juice, condensed milk: instant bliss!

The granadilla in a number of forms is a favourite for desserts, drink and cocktail flavouring, and grows well in a number of climates. Too well, in fact, in some of them where in spite of the lovely blooms and delicious fruit, they are regarded as a pest. The commonest seen is probably the purple (when ripe) Passiflora edulis which has less tartness, but we have long been fans of its flavicarpa variety, known as a guavadilla in South Africa. These are best harvested by waiting for them to drop, and then grabbing as soon as possible. Leave them to ripen further if not already yellow and slightly wrinkled.

We feasted on some last evening, and the pictures show a fresh crop I gained today. This year we have successfully competed against the monkeys, who generally don’t wait for them to drop or — when they do fall — steal them from right under our noses.

© February 2017 Colonialist
Posted in Africa, Gardens, Humorous rhyme, Really Awful Rhyme, Wordplay | Tagged , , , , , | 8 Comments

Lasting Prayers


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Wordle 284

Prayers carved into brown doors,

On papers fingernails must prise,

Or fire-etched on floors,

Or bled in stone to show the wise —

The body of such messages has streamed

As soldiers, fighting longer than is dreamed.

© February 2016 Colonialist
Posted in Challenge, Philosophy, Rhyme, Wordle | Tagged , , | 10 Comments

Murder Most Foul as in the Worst it is


Iain Rossouw at a book launch we shared in Durban.

Iain Rossouw at a book launch we shared in Durban.

Three weeks ago the life of a talented, gentle, and thoroughly admirable person was snatched away by some of the despicable vermin that increasingly crawl around this country. I had only met Iain Rossouw on a few occasions over the years. We have been associated mainly through his wife, my South African publisher. Nevertheless, those meetings, and a period of communication during the editing of his brilliant textbook on forming tensional chords on the guitar, were enough to form a definite bond.

I was unutterably shocked to learn that he had been shot in his own home by robbers, while unarmed and only seeking to protect wife and children. My heart goes out to his surviving wife (such a good friend) and to the children.

In a ‘normal’ society, one should be in the vast minority by having known one person who has been murdered. As I have said before, I have lost count on my tally, and now two within a space of less than six months is utterly horrifying. The circumstances of the previous one were similar, and there again a relatively young father lost his life for no other reason than to satisfy the greed and blood-lust of parasites.

What can we as the targeted South Africans do about it? Follow the advice of police and experts who say avoid all contact, let the thugs get on with it, and then report fully to the police? (The trouble is that the current success rate for policing both in preventing crime and catching criminals is less than impressive, and also some of the criminals seek out the family whether or not they lie low.) Or does one beef up security, and pay monthly for armed response and a patrolling guard?

Yes to all of these things, with reservations. Action definitely needs to go further. One has to realise that such measures can only have limited effect. Added to them, in fact, should be a commitment by every law-abiding citizen to take an active part in wiping out this scourge.

One means of doing so is to form or join a community policing group, and then to commit to some time every week patrolling the neighbourhood and taking note of any suspicious behaviour. Professional robbers plan in advance, and if their scouting is placed in jeopardy by constant and visible vigilance they will turn attentions elsewhere. Thus, this sort of commitment is the duty of everyone who has enough integrity to throw away the ‘somebody else can/will do it’ attitude. Heads in sand simply mean that tails get shot off.

It goes further than that, though. Against all the ‘sensible’ advice, as many as possible should become militant and prepare strategies to fend off these attacks wherever possible, with deadly force from a safe base. With the current scenario, we are justified in believing that any incursion is probably life-threatening. For that reason, if I found intruders in my home I would not hesitate to launch an attack, from pre-planned cover, with intent to kill.

Robberies and murders are carried out with impunity at present. The only way to create second thoughts is if that impunity should abruptly and spectacularly vanish.

(The title is a misquote from Hamlet.)
© February 2017 Colonialist
Posted in Africa, Current Affairs, Personal Journal | Tagged , , , , , | 52 Comments