I’m going to take the government
And yank them from their seats,
And then set every one of them
At cleaning up the streets;
For those of them who demonstrate
They have a few more brains,
I’ll set tasks more responsible –
Like cleaning out the drains.

I’ll then proclaim myself as king,
And my first task will be
Declaring what we’ve had for years –
State of Emergency!
The state the State is in is shown
To be a sorry one,
But one should state the state as such
To start to get things done.

I’ll call up a new parliament,
But they’ll have a short stay,
For it will be to let them know
Things will be done my way;
Democracy requires that
The people voting know
What really is the best for them –
They don’t, so it must go!

Conscription will return forthwith,
And every honest soul
Will have to serve four hours a week
In a policing role;
Drug vendors will be shot on sight,
And gangsters will be sent
In chain-gangs to mix concrete, so
Their gang-bonds they cement.

Protestors, strikers, and the like
Will never be allowed
To disrupt normal citizens
In an unruly crowd;
In stadiums their dancing and
Their singing can take place –
And should they cause some damage there,
The costs they’ll have to face.

For all that strikers may destroy,
Employers will, by law,
Withhold the costs from salaries –
They won’t do that no more!
No crowd should ever be allowed
To scare off legal force,
In need, the army would be called
To show them the right course.

All those, just once, involved in bribes,
Will promptly get the sack –
With giving bribes illegal, too,
That practice won’t come back!
Those caught with stolen property
Will forfeit all they own;
Thus they will think most carefully
Of leaving it alone!

Corruption will be rooted out;
All those involved, disgraced,
And cronyism with distaste
And heavy action faced;
The courts will be instructed
No technicalities
Will halt the course of justice, if
Main issues one agrees.

Hijackers, burglars, robbers, thieves,
Wiped out like any pest,
And jobs will all be given to
The ones who do them best,
Who’ll also give some training
To share some of their skill –
With productive business booming,
New posts they then can fill.

The Chinese will be wailing and
The Commies won’t succeed,
While South Africa produces
All things the world may need;
So let’s begin to make a start:
Remember, the first thing
Is kick out all the idiots,
And put me in as king.

© Colonialist September 2012 (WordPress/Blogs24)

About colonialist

Active septic geranium who plays with words writing fantasy novels and professionally editing, with notes writing classical music, and with riding a mountain bike, horses and dinghies. Recently Indie Publishing has been added to this list.
This entry was posted in Colonialist, verse, writing, music composition, fantasy, Africa, journal., Humour, Language, Poems, Really Awful Rhyme, Satire, Writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.


  1. Arkenaten says:

    “The king is dead. Long live the King”….


  2. adinparadise says:

    Long live the Col!! You’ve really got a bee in your bonnet today. 😀 Hardly surprising with all the absolute nonsense and shenanigans going on at the country’s expense. I’m also hopping mad.


  3. 68ghia says:

    Ok fine, I agree on kicking out all the idiots.
    But I must be king 😉


  4. The Asian says:

    I’ll have you as my king any day!


  5. Long live King Col 🙂 As long as you remain a merry old soul …


  6. melouisef says:

    And this is written in RED!


  7. newsferret says:

    Good idea, but are you becoming self destructive now,
    all against political correctness, wow!


  8. Marco says:

    Very ambitious, Col – you get my vote! One thing, when you yank the current government out of their seats, they might like it and want some more 🙂


  9. nrhatch says:

    Bwahaha! I would vote for you except . . . (1) I don’t live in SA, and (2) you’ve abolished voting and other democratic thrills.

    It’s good to be KING!


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