A really awfully tasteless rhyme giving rationale on rats as rations

For today’s NaPoWriMo prompt, we are invited to wax lyrical on something affecting at least three of the five senses.  This invites a rhapsodic eulogy on the joys to be experienced from sight, smell, sound, touch and taste.

With having had to dash to Pinetown for stocks, and then to the print shop re some cartridges too mean to dislodge their ink, and then to R’s regular swimming lesson, and knowing we are leaving early to go to a show tonight, it didn’t leave much time for scribbling.  Still, I’m sure the sheer beauty of the images in this offering will astound and delight.


A rat I saw slink up a rafter,
And wondered just what he was after;
Looked tatty, not fat,
And one could tell that
‘Twas some sort of sewer that rat had been at
By testing the perfume that wafted behind –
The odour was such as a person might find
Inside a latrine;
It smelt quite obscene;
And thus one knew, as I have said, where he’d been. 

His pelt felt all sticky and yucky
And just as it looked, which was mucky;
In fact, to the touch,
It was rather such
As turds and whey, mashed up a little too much;
His squeak was discordant, and injured the ear:
It wasn’t a sound that was pleasant to hear …
And as for the taste,
I was in no haste

To try it out; therefore that rat went to waste.

© Colonialist April 2014 (WordPress)

About colonialist

Active septic geranium who plays with words writing fantasy novels and professionally editing, with notes writing classical music, and with riding a mountain bike, horses and dinghies. Recently Indie Publishing has been added to this list.
This entry was posted in Challenge, Nonsense verse, Personal Journal, Really Awful Rhyme and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

31 Responses to A really awfully tasteless rhyme giving rationale on rats as rations

  1. What show did you go to last night? We went to see ‘A handful of keys’ and it was absolutely brilliant. Thanks for sharing your rat experience, I think. ;?


  2. Yup, tasting the rat would have been several stages too far…thanks for the chuckle, Col 😀


  3. Rats “shudders”


  4. Ruth2Day says:

    Rats are certainly in the news right now. In the UK there seem to many as big as cats. wouldn’t fancy coming face to face with one of them, day or night


  5. nrhatch says:

    Fun rhyme time, Col.
    Glad you didn’t commemorate its taste.

    My dad had a problem with rats while in Korea. Doing some research today revealed a photo of a rat dish served in parts of Asia.


  6. Oh I love it! Pawesome! Mum used to have pet rats! Shame we don’t have them anymore!


  7. Buerk (which is French for Yuk) I really hope you didn’t actually touch it. Weil’s disease wouldn’t be funny at all.
    As for the poem: as usual, brilliant rhyming.


  8. Serena Malcolm says:

    Firstly, eeek!
    Secondly, I have heard rat is a delicacy in Thailand…
    Thirdly, great piece as always – made me chuckle!


  9. disperser says:

    Probably just needed some TLC, and it would have made a great pet (a la Pam, in the Golden Compass).


  10. Grannymar says:

    Did I ever tell you about the day I kneecapped a Rat? The things you learn living in Northern Ireland!


  11. I have one in my apple tree on occasion.Well don yuck, get a cat 😉


    • colonialist says:

      I remember introducing a couple of our home cats to deal with the rat problem at daughter’s rural property. The cats watched them cavorting, but only displayed vague interest before becoming bored and pushing off.


  12. misswhiplash says:

    yucky, yucky ..that was very mucky…for a rat
    the least said about that smelly stinky slimy rodent….


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