No show due to show – a fair affair, fair enough?


Durban and Coast Horticultural Stands.This shows why my attention is fully occupied at the moment.  The (takes deep breath) Department of Co-operative Governance and Traditional Affairs for the Province of KwaZulu Natal (pant, pant) has organised – very well, I may say – a Sustainable Living Festival, Exhibition and Indigenous Plant Fair 2014.

It commenced today, with busload after countless busload of school children attending, and will run through Sunday.

Our participation is through Durban and Coast Horticultural Society, of which Much Better Half and I are members of the Garden Judges subsection, and I am also on the Board.  We are running the four stands for Floral Art, House Plants, Garden Judges, and a general information one I am manning (the farthest one in the picture), and where I am also selling novels of certain bloggers you may know with a donation of part of the proceeds to the Society …

Those who are conveniently located are welcome to watch one of our demonstrations on things like Decorative Vegetable Gardening, Making Compost in a Small Space, Floral Art using Basic Material, or Propagation; and then purchase some recommended reading – autographed, if you so desire!  There are stax of other things to see, too, including magician shows and such diversions for younger visitors.

© Colonialist August 2014 (WordPress)
Posted in Books, Gardens, Gardens | Tagged , , , | 9 Comments

Pee see, really awfully.


Hiding out from the PC Hit Squad.

Hiding out from the PC Hit Squad.

WARNING:  May be considered offensive. 

In fact, the full intention is for it to offend certain offensive readers very deeply – those meddling, mealy-mouthed, hypocritical, smarmy, infantile, holier-than-thou, illogical, proselytizing, mentally challenged and ugly members of the Pathetically Conciliatory persuasion.

The Pill-hit E. Coli Core-wrecked*
All suffer from a sad defect:
Say ‘kaf-tan’ to these folk
And you will see them choke -
They’re somewhat of a joke!
For they will think that you refer
To sun-darke’d skin on he or her
Of certain race or sect. 

While eeny meeny miny mo
Will make them into tantrums go;
And mention mountain slope
You’ll see these morons grope

For mouth-to-wash-out soap!
But there, you coolly have to grant,
That their ideas are on a slant
Their intellects are low. 

Say, ‘Where’s the day go?’ makes them scream,
And ‘spick and span’ to them will seem
A whop-per of a racist slur;
Then hairy-backs will ruffle fur,
And should a golli-wog occur,
You’ll find they throw a fit –
While nig-gle, quite a bit,
They fancy lacks esteem. 

And in a paddy, hearing jock,
They’ll yank their hair and run amuck,

With squeals and scowls and outraged howls,
And cluck-ings like demented fowls,
Which are enough to nip the bowels!
See how fast the grin-goes
When a pom-pom in goes -

With squaw-kings, round they flock. 

On honky-tonk and jerry-can
They feel that there should be a ban,
And abbo-lition, they suggest,
Of chinks in armour would be best,
Both flip and frog should take a rest;
No Goy-a should be sold,
And ‘I-tie’, keep on hold,
As well as ‘Chinaman’. 

Red Indians exist no more,
Their ‘Native’ most of them abhor;
And, though the PC-types insist,
‘American’, as well, resist:
Vespucci, he did not exist
When first they walked those shores
In tribal scores and scores;
They all came, him, before! 

It cannot come as a surprise
That twits like this re-sensitize
The words that they all downward rate,
Regenerating racial hate,
Which otherwise you’d see abate;
Their actions are a curse,
Which simply make it worse,
So, ‘Shut up!’ I’d advise. 

*The ‘i’ in Latin should be pronounced as ‘ee’ not as ‘aye’, which makes this concoction valid as ‘Politically Correct’.
©Colonialist August 2014 (WordPress)
Posted in Current Affairs, Humour, Really Awful Rhyme, Satire, Wordplay | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

Weekly Photo Challenge: Silhouette; My Silhouection.


For the gallery, click here.

Funfair silhouette

Cloud silhouette Double silhouette

Posted in Challenge, Photography, Weekly Photo Challenge | 37 Comments

Weekly Pet Challenge: Annie one relaxing more?


WordPress is doing strange things.  I wondered why this post of last night attracted no attention whatsoever.   The explanation appears to be that although I know I shoved the ‘Publish’ button very firmly and was sure I saw a response – nothing actually happened.  These studies of Annie working hard at taking it easy remained lurking in ‘Drafts’.

Annie 1 Annie 2 Annie 3 Annie 4

Michelle's Pet Challenge

Posted in Challenge, Dogs | 27 Comments

Flying Insect Really Awful Nonsense Rhyme


The sort of things kids do here at winter birthday parties.  R going down!

The sort of things kids do here at winter birthday parties. R going down this weekend!

And for some rhyme but no real reason:

 FlyscreenYou’re going fly-fishing and hoping for trout –
But how to select a good fly you’re in doubt?
Well, if you’ve a hardware store somewhere about,
Fly-screening’s the thing that will sort all that out! 

And here is a puzzle that I’d like to set,Mosquito Net
Just how many mozzies would you need to get -
To have enough for you to quite safely bet -
On making a short bit of mosquito-net? 

Atlas Moth

And then, has it ever occurred to your mind,Mothballs
When looking at moths of each size and each kind,
To wonder why privates they scatter behind,
And, also, why moth-balls so large one may find?

© Colonialist August 2014 (WordPress)
Posted in Nonsense verse, Ocean, Personal Journal, Really Awful Rhyme, Wordplay | Tagged , , , , , | 21 Comments

Sweeny Todd – the Rave Continues


Those of you who ever had minds … that is to say, those of you who had minds you could cast back as far, may remember this:

Take full note, because what you will experience in this production from the Stephen Sondheim script is exactly … nothing much like it.

True, it has a barber full of cutting remarks, several close shaves, and a sweetheart who makes utterly scrumptious pies down below.  But in this version of the story they have Motive added to Means and Opportunity.  The plot thickens until it almost solidifies.  Surprises, shocks and revelations abound.  Scenes filled with drama can end with something completely banal, such as when, after a particularly impassioned outburst from Sweeny, Mrs Lovett says in a casual tone, ‘That’s all very well, but …’  Instead of breaking the mood, such insertions add to the total experience.

Sweeny Todd stage

This show has drama, horror, menace, comedy, spectacle, romance, plot twists, good songs well sung, an excellent set of costumes and props, a misleadingly simple set which reveals itself to be extraordinarily complex in its capabilities, and not a single weak link in the acting I was able to detect.

Sweeny Todd 002

The rapturous standing ovation and curtain call came as no surprise.  Nor did hearing one of the East Coast Radio personalities who attended the same performance describe it this afternoon as, ‘Fantastic’ and ‘West-end’.  The latter wasn’t really accurate, actually, as Fleet Street is fifteen minutes’ walk from there.

Sweeny Todd 1

© Colonialist August 2014 (WordPress)
Posted in Theatre, Theatre Review | Tagged , , , , | 18 Comments

Rave Review Alert on an Outstanding Sweeny Todd.


Sweeny ToddWe have just returned from a performance of the Durban production of the musical Sweeny Todd.  I will need some time to form up and drill a platoon of suitable superlatives before I write the review proper, but let it be mentioned that the ovation was more a case of everyone instantly leaping to their feet and yelling rather than merely standing up and applauding.

I recall a friend – with the means – who travelled to London from Durban for a weekend, just to see the original Phantom production.  What we have just seen would justify the same exercise in reverse.

Watch this space.

© Colonialist August 2014 (WordPress)
Posted in Theatre | Tagged , , , , | 3 Comments